Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Avataar - The Revenge

The Na'vis from Avatar are here in retaliation to what the humans did to Pandora....

I have personally seen them around here and they have decided to capture one part of Mumbai...

... not very surprisingly they have decided to call it Na'vi Mumbai

Somebody help... (the author)

adios...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

IPL 3.0

IPL 2.0 is being termed as a wash out... both literally and figuratively... yeah seriously... what else can you say about (1)the empty stands that never are shown on camera... (2)Lalit Moti trying his level best to socialize with a group of young women... and (3)Shilpa & Shamita Shetty (yeah we figured we keep the worst for the last)...

Having said that IPL's tour of South Africa has been a dismal failure, our consulting organization has taken Lalit Modi into custody (we havent arrested him for any wrong doings with the ladies above or Shahrukh khan for that matter) and given him some great tips about how to go about conducting IPL 3.0

Here are the excerpts of the clandestine document that we plan to forward to Lalit Modi...

1. John Buchanan, Sreesanth & Harbhajan Singh to be promoted from the post of players to cheer leaders. This has been done keeping in mind the impressive "uchal kood" that they have been doing in IPL 2.0

2. With the highly paid big guns (read Kevin Pietersen & Freddy Flintoff) turning into water pistols, we recommend cost cutting measures like VVS Laxman, Wasim Jaffer, Mohd Kaif, Aakash Chopra & Sanjay Bangar to be brought back to IPL 3.0. To counter the slack in speed of scoring we'd hire 2 year olds to bowl to them (and hope that they have a good strike rate... the batsmen we mean)

3. KKR owner Shahrukh Khan to bury hatchet with Bhuvan (Aamir Khan) and have him play for KKR as the opening Batsman and Captain (probably the only one) to try and reverse some fortunes for the team. If everything fails, then KKR owner needs to go back to the drawing board and revise the "Sattar Minute" dialogues (from Chak De India) and pep up the team with them.

4. Rajasthan Royals to rename their team name to Rajasthan Royal Chuckers. Every good performing bowler they seem to bring in seems to be having a problem with the 15 degree bend while bowling. They should bring in Lasith Malinga into the team and see if the jinx continues or not. (Are we the only people who suspect Lasith's action?)

5. Make sure this new government lasts for the entire term by donating generous funds to their "good cause". This will ensure no elections atleast for the next 4-5 years and thereby having the IPL in India in Hot, Sticky and Non-Washout conditions... (The generous funds would flow from BCCI [Sharad Pawar] to Congress/NCP [Sharad Pawar])

6. Try and rename this to something eye-catching and interesting like 'Iyer's Premier League' or 'Iyers Premier League' (See there are two options.. with and without the apostrophe)

adios...

On a completely different note, the best thing about IPL 2.0 is the zoozoos campaign.. If you haven't seen any one of the ads on TV... you better catch it on YouTube or some other place... The campaign is simple yet super-fabulous.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Raging Superstar...

We were reading news the other day... (Generally we follow Satyam since we are a super-super-super-super-super-super-super-super minor shareholder of this scrip).. but this news was about Bollywood... our long lost love Bollywood...

This news article carried the news about the new Hrithik-Look-And-Dance-And-Sound-Alike guy Harman Baweja and the spelling used for him was Hurman Baweja... at first we thought this was a typo... but we later found that this guy had actually changed his name...

But we tell you what... his fortune didn't change... Victory was super-ultra-duper flop... and his name change didn't work for him... and he will be continue to be a flop until he listens to us and our deep & profound studies...

Our Studies suggest that if he has to become a "RAGING" superstar... he should change his name to... HORMONE BAWEJA...

That way he also gets a lot of bong ladiej fan following (Since Harman becomes Hormone.. in bong)

Saturday, March 07, 2009

See the change...

***Who moved my cheese? It doesn't matter... its gone sour anyways... ***

Who moved my cheese talks about change and all things related to change. We managed to move our cheese and change somethings around here... look around...

Yeah the only thing that's changed is our title... and the tag line... and if you think this is some kind of cheap publicity to the new title & tag line.... you cannot be anymore right...

Why Iyer Studies?
  • All economies are in a very bad state
  • Job losses galore... people are laid off and no new jobs to take
  • Bench Strength is beginning to trim... and the ones on them are being "re-skilled"
Who said we didn't see it coming... all of these guys are moving to pursue higher (Iyer) studies... We are back in demand baby...

In addition to all of the above issues, the current and the future trend also seems that nobody is ever going to be satisfied with a simple bachelor's degree... so in effect every body , except babies of the age group 1-3 months, wants to pursue Higher(Iyer) Studies...

And we will provide them just that...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Eye Opening Facts...

We went on this place for work for a couple of weeks and we had great amount of eye opening experiences in our life... It opened our eyes so much that we are sitting here in the middle of the night trying to type some non-sense into our dormant blog... Some other people might want to call it jet lag, but you don't believe them...

Anyways, since the place was international, the eye-opening experiences too are... and we were just waiting for the right time for Iyerospace to go global... you know with recession and all... with costs coming down... we thought this is just the right time to sneak in a bad post... with so much bad stuff happening around this world... nobody might notice this... so here goes nothing...

You know the Mexicans... they have stolen the language from us Indians... our eye opening experiences and subsequent research tells us just that... Some guy told me that the Mexicans pronounce all their 'L' as 'Y' which brought all our pronunciations of the Mexican delicacies to earth... but then the positive side of it was we discovered how the Mexicans slowly but steadily stole our local language and disguised them by replacing the spellings and finally changed the pronunciations on our 'Y' with their 'L'. Here is an example

Quesadilla - Pronounced "kaise diya" is actually what all of us say when we go to vegetable vendors... Isn't that stealing in public?

What we now plan to do is to sneak in "Iyerism" in their culture in the same way they stole our language...

We propose that we create a couple of new words like

Saptilla - Pronounced "Saptiya" (tamil word which means 'have you eaten?')...
Poilla - Pronounced "Poiya" (tamil word which means 'get lost')...

Don't be surprised if you find something like this happening in the future... in one of the popular mexican joints...

Tam1: Saptilla
Counter Guy: what?
Tam1: Poilla... *walks away... serves them right*

what say? eye opening or jet lag?