Happy Diwali..

We here at Iyerospace wish All of you Readers (albeit, our dean always asks us to use Both instead of All, which according to him depicts the right number of people) a Happy Diwali and a Prosperous New Year.

Here are our wishes for Diwali...

We wish that..

.. you keep exploding crackers throughout the coming year unlike this year where the stocks and the stock market exploded instead of the crackers

.. the prices of your stocks keep going up with every session just like Akshay Kumar's market valuation goes up after every film that he completes

.. the upcoming year be peaceful without any Himesh music or Movie releases

.. there are no more reality(dance/singing) shows on television in the next year

.. Rajnikant gets a super super super star status just like sri sri sri ravi shankar. And that his roles (rajni's) in guest appearances be longer than the protagonist's

.. some of the elder cricket players declare their retirement and give company to Dada

.. you get wisdom and peace of mind by not reading this blog anymore

We thank you profusely for all the flowers, wishes, sweets, crackers that you didn't send across...

Happy Diwali again...

Tandoori Nights...

is the title of a song from Himmesh Reshammiya's (HR) latest movie title called KARZZZ out of which we suppose KAR is silent in the title and the only thing worthwhile must be ZZZ...

And before you begin to wander your thoughts, we havent committed the henious crime of going and watching that movie... it definitely isn't our FARZZZ to watch his KARZZZ... but we thought it would be a good idea of letting our imagination's horses run helter-skelter and come up with the possible story in this film... So here goes our version of KARZZZ which might put HR'S version to shame...

Mr Previous Janam (PJ) is a ultra-super-rich-brat of a kid who's got loads of money to throw. He is in love with Ms Jawaan Across Janams (JAJ) and they decide to get married. Once they are married, they drive to PJ's house to meet his mom and take ashirwaad. On the way there is a house of horror on the road, where PJ wants to take a look at whereas JAJ stays back in the car. PJ has a running nose. As PJ is just out of the house of horrors after a "hair raising" experience with an inhaler up his nose (to treat his running nose), JAJ kills him by repeatedly banging him with his own jeep and PJ dies a death with the inhaler in his nose and his hair still raised...

Cut to current janam we have HR singing and recording ultra numerous songs which are being disliked by a lot of people but at the same time these songs are considered to be a runaway hit... HR suddenly becomes a rockstar.. with two strange gifts... one a cap.. and second a nasal voice... He likes little girls (the ones below the age of 18) and one such kid...err... "little girl with good make up to look ladylike" falls in love with him and they become a pair... in this janam

HR is happy with himself and his life, his newly signed contracts on reality shows et al.... but deep at heart, he is seeking answers... primarily he is looking for the source of his two gifted talents... his cap and his voice... and he is troubled by a series of dreams that depict some guy with an inhaler and spiked hair being crashed and thrashed by a car... over and over again... He consults his dream catcher who attaches certain strings to HR's dream and manages to read a board on the dream that says "Bhalej".. That's the place where answers could be found...

HR, along with the kid...er... his love life... goes to Bhalej and finds the spot of his dreams with a tattered house of horrors. That is where he uses his singing prowess to invoke ghosts and gets to know the past life's story from them... Now he has a very clear picture of what has to be done... to get his revenge from Ms JAJ.. who still for some reason looks the same... like she'd just walked out of his dreams and right in front of him...

He begins executing his plans one by one... Firstly, he had to gain popularity ... and since negative popularity is far more potent than positive one... he goes about insulting music directors and musicians driving him on top of every chart... He then goes ahead to get a hair transplant... which failed miserably... which is replaced by having some fashionable japanese wig that gives him PJ's hair raised looks... This is then followed by stalking JAJ and making her feel like a kid... er... young lady... that she isn't, thus making her feel younger and HR comfortable (since he's always comfortable around kids... er... young ladies)... Now HR and JAJ are a pair... and JAJ is ready to do anything for HR... absolutely anything.....

... that includes coming to an Exclusive HR show at Hotel "Tandoori Nights", the most popular club in that constituency... JAJ, when turns out for the show finds that she is the only one who is there in the hotel.. and the invite actually turned out to be Ram Gopal Varma's Challenge... HR was Ramu's horror heist... and JAJ had to put up with him all by herself... which sadly she didn't and by the end of the second song... she was resting in peace... in a lot of pieces... waiting to be picked up by PJ from above... and HR got his revenge...

But the challenge is still there, for anyone to take... three hours, all alone with HR in hotel Tandoori Nights... all he awaits is the next challenger...

adios...

PS: We saw the video of this song and we think what they really mean is "Tan Doori Nights" (keep bodies away night... probably because no-one was properly deodorized)

Resignations & Good Byes

Before you begin to rejoice on the fact that Iyer Education has resigned (to fate)... and is around for taking the last bow, let us be the first to tell you that IT IS NOT SO...

Now that we are done with the opening lines, here is one thing that has kept us thinking... very profoundly... How can people, who write such torturous and horrendous (official)emails (that excludes us), write so wonderful resignation mails and good bye emails.

The most obvious reason is that we are getting templates for almost everything under the sun. All we have to do is do a search on any of the popular search engines and we can get a list of templates that would span across, leave letters to your teacher and goes all the way up to letters/speeches to become the next president of the United States of Airoli.

Here is my friend from this office taking the help of such a website. Enjoy and spread the word...

Name: Gobbledygook
Nick: The school days letter writer
USP: Salutation and the first word of a new paragraph always begins on the center of the email.

Official Email(his language): I got a mail from ABC, When i am installing this software an error will come (we think he is trying to explain that he's getting an error). This installation package could not be opened. Contact the application vendor to verify that this is a valid windows installer package.

Resignation Letter(website help): This is to inform you that, Due to my some personal Problems, I need to relocate back to xxx with my family, I have a remorse feeling (now this guy is talking super-hi-fi english)with me while informing you that I would not be continue with this job in future. Please treat this as my advance notice to the company. I would like to take this opportunity to thanks to all of you for your great help and guidance during this tenure of my job. It would be appreciated if I will get my clearance letter and all formalities completed by xxx. Thanks

Did we mention that the salutation and the paragraph begun on the center of the mail body. At least something was original

We wish this guy would blog, and we find his blog address... It'd be fun reading his posts

adios...