Thursday, August 21, 2008

IyerOlympics...

Its been long since we wrote an Iyer post.

Its also been long since the last time we saw Olympics before 2008. At this point we'd rather say, it will be quite a long time before we see India's medal tally take another hike from the current 3, but that's not the point in consideration. We are trying to harp upon the "good things don't happen very frequently" tagline to cover the fact that we are running out of I(yer)deas.

So we thought it would be an ideal combination for us to have a new set of sports where Iyers from all over the world can get together once every four years and play some kind of sports and drive a million of political agendas (which is the obvious reason behind having such an event in the first place).

Since we'd have Iyers from all over the countries and managing such a large number of countries would be difficult, we'd have teams based on Gotras and not countries. That way every single person can have an ancestral connection and thus every single Iyer would give his/her best to please the rishi of their ancestor.

The opening ceremony would be something to really watch out for. Shiny silk veshtis and shinier silk maroon nine yard sarees would be the dress code for the opening ceremony and each of the gotra representative would be carrying a large sized photo of their family god followed by the team carrying a photo of their village god followed by other people in the team carrying a photo of the god of their liking and so on and so forth. (The representative would be the guy/gal from the respective gotra who scored the maximum in their 10th or 12th Standard)

Some of the events to watch out for in this olympics would be

1 Ltr / 2 Ltr / 5 Ltr Payasam Pounce:To eat payasam clean out of the banana leaf. The fastest one with the cleanest leaf wins

100 ML / 200 ML / 800 ML Rasam Race:To stop rasam from dripping out of the leaf. The one who can accomodate most portions of rasam before it spills out is the winner.

7718 Mile OnSite Marathon: Here we create a virtual race for folks to apply for jobs, visas and work permits and the likes. The one to do all of this and get onsite at the earliest wins. (7718 miles is the distance between Mumbai and New York)

Oh!! Did we forget about the torch and the torch bearers, who are a "unique" concept of this IyerOlympics? No we didn't... The torch and the torch bearers would be medium-tiny sized homa kundas which would be used to perform all kinds of homams and yagnams and all kinds of ahutis being offered to gods by the various teams when they are being handed over from one team to another.

About the Podium... yes we do have podiums at Iyerolympics... and they will be made out of old and worn out "golu stands" (we definitely believe in recycling you see).. and we would loudly play the mantra/bhajan of the family/village diety of the gold medal winner...

And finally the closing ceremony will see some things you have never seen before in any of the Olympics... Distribution of flowers, prasadam, coconut, chandan and kumkum to every single person attending the closing ceremony...

now we have come to a close... see you after 4 years...

adios

ps: fellow iyers: offend not... have fun...

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Brand Bindra...

cool... India gets its first individual gold medal in olympics and we are very proud of it...

Everyone on the television and on every other media (including blogs) are cashing on Brand Bindra.. so did we... and this is our earnest attempt to land a page hit everytime someone searches for either Bindra or Olympic Gold Medal etc...

Anyways, we couldn'd be more happy for this lad yesterday after which we woke up today morning to find this lad surrounded by every little bureaucrat belonging to the sports ministry / olympic committee of india / any other sundry organization giving interviews to gazillions of channels claiming their stake at this lad's success...

We opened the papers to find every single sportsman / businessman / minister / official congratulating this guy... We decide to watch television again to see channels accepting earnest congratulatory "SMS" for Bindra...

All of this for a guy who is so unassuming... who actually looks like being in Beijing for an IIM interview more than anything else...

And this is our tribute to him (more importantly, our contribution to the Bindra Brand and our subsequent efforts to hog some of the limelight) ... Now all searchers and their page hits are welcome to this page (if at all you end up landing here)

adios...