Thursday, August 21, 2008

IyerOlympics...

Its been long since we wrote an Iyer post.

Its also been long since the last time we saw Olympics before 2008. At this point we'd rather say, it will be quite a long time before we see India's medal tally take another hike from the current 3, but that's not the point in consideration. We are trying to harp upon the "good things don't happen very frequently" tagline to cover the fact that we are running out of I(yer)deas.

So we thought it would be an ideal combination for us to have a new set of sports where Iyers from all over the world can get together once every four years and play some kind of sports and drive a million of political agendas (which is the obvious reason behind having such an event in the first place).

Since we'd have Iyers from all over the countries and managing such a large number of countries would be difficult, we'd have teams based on Gotras and not countries. That way every single person can have an ancestral connection and thus every single Iyer would give his/her best to please the rishi of their ancestor.

The opening ceremony would be something to really watch out for. Shiny silk veshtis and shinier silk maroon nine yard sarees would be the dress code for the opening ceremony and each of the gotra representative would be carrying a large sized photo of their family god followed by the team carrying a photo of their village god followed by other people in the team carrying a photo of the god of their liking and so on and so forth. (The representative would be the guy/gal from the respective gotra who scored the maximum in their 10th or 12th Standard)

Some of the events to watch out for in this olympics would be

1 Ltr / 2 Ltr / 5 Ltr Payasam Pounce:To eat payasam clean out of the banana leaf. The fastest one with the cleanest leaf wins

100 ML / 200 ML / 800 ML Rasam Race:To stop rasam from dripping out of the leaf. The one who can accomodate most portions of rasam before it spills out is the winner.

7718 Mile OnSite Marathon: Here we create a virtual race for folks to apply for jobs, visas and work permits and the likes. The one to do all of this and get onsite at the earliest wins. (7718 miles is the distance between Mumbai and New York)

Oh!! Did we forget about the torch and the torch bearers, who are a "unique" concept of this IyerOlympics? No we didn't... The torch and the torch bearers would be medium-tiny sized homa kundas which would be used to perform all kinds of homams and yagnams and all kinds of ahutis being offered to gods by the various teams when they are being handed over from one team to another.

About the Podium... yes we do have podiums at Iyerolympics... and they will be made out of old and worn out "golu stands" (we definitely believe in recycling you see).. and we would loudly play the mantra/bhajan of the family/village diety of the gold medal winner...

And finally the closing ceremony will see some things you have never seen before in any of the Olympics... Distribution of flowers, prasadam, coconut, chandan and kumkum to every single person attending the closing ceremony...

now we have come to a close... see you after 4 years...

adios

ps: fellow iyers: offend not... have fun...

15 comments:

Karthik Sivaramakrishnan said...

LOL!

APOO said...

Can a Chinese Iyer under the age of 16 apply?

Karthik said...

LOL! Hilarious

silverine said...

LOL!! Too good!

Anil P said...

Funny :)

Rukmani Ram said...

no thayir saadham event??

Iyer Education said...

@karthik 1 & 2: thengew...

@anil p: the thengew...

@silverine: you want us to plan something similar for all mallus too?

@rukmani: what is an iyer event without thayir sadam... the list of events here were not exhaustive...

@apoo: he will be most definitely allowed.. but he will be disqualified if he uses chopsticks for any event

Anonymous said...

too hilarious... i could actually imagine people in nine yards and pattu veshti..with the photos of rishis...competitions among different gothrams!!! too good!!payasam pounce,golu stands totally hilarious!!!

Rambler said...

Can I add one more to the list?
The 7km/10km bike hurdle race from home to office/office to home

Cloudy said...

Came here after a long time, and what a treat awaits me! :D One of your best, Iyer
Of course thair sadam is a must! Waiting for a Part II.

How about an Iyer anthem sung in true gamakam style Carnatic?

Sreelatha said...

Hahaha too good. BTW wht abt the venue?? is it tanjore or palakkad??

Sense said...

LOL. Can't wait for part 2. It has to be an exhaustive list. Complete with the thiar saadam, iyer anthem, venue finalisation - of course the all important mascot is a must! Mascot must be able to do mental calculus and be able to rattle out team scores and stats of each participant!

Cloudy said...

Oh and you MUST have a Maami Marathon - Kanjeevarams with sneakers in New York winter :-)

Bhargavi said...

LOL..!!
Where and when to the qualifications start? I am particularly interested in the Paysam contest :)

Radhika Ganesan said...

Awesome !
Well there should be one boasting competition for parents telling tales of their wards edu. qualification...where just grad would be sin ; MTech in India is poorest grade AND Phd or post doc in US is the highest grade !