Monday, June 09, 2008

The Iyer & Lower aspects of Reality Shows...

There are 3 big issues that are looming large on the Indian economy and an Average Indian.

- The First being Inflation and rising prices of everything across the board.
- The Second is the falling stock markets, which are eroding savings and making the above costlier
- The Third (and the most important) is a plethora of reality shows on television channels.

There are a whole lot of people who are working on the first two and trying to reduce the effects by further increasing prices. And we (yes the benevolent WE), take the responsibility of informing you guys (yes both of you) about the third and the most important problem. So lets walk you through them.

So whats with reality shows? We have no clue about how they have come about, just like any other species and are thriving and surviving by killing other species (the intelligent humans like us). There are so many of them that we could rename each button on our remote control with a reality show name and we would need another 1300 buttons on our remote control. Oh yes.. and another bedroom to keep that remote (which as per today's real estate prices would again be unaffordable)... Back to the topic now...

Reality shows are like a bunch of rats... They multiply at a rate that you find it impossible to imagine... We think by the time we lose another couple of kilos (yes we are going public with our weight loss announcement to get some cheap publicity), we'd have about 125 more shows on various themes. Its about time somebody showed these guys a red inverted triangle to stop multiplying and pro-create more of these... And this post is the first dot on that red triangle...

Just like MNS is opposing the movement of Migrants into Mumbai, we would go ahead and aggressively oppose the movement of folks between reality shows. It get so confusing to figure out who's who and where. This movement of guys/gals between reality shows is similar to the IT industry at full steam or a bunch of young monkeys full on adrenaline. All of them make a lot of jumps...

We believe that reality shows endorses and showcases the talents of the judges rather than that of the contestants. It is never about the poor guy's / gal's performance. It has and will continue to be about the unwanted bouts of laughter (Sidhu), unasked for information (javed saab), singing songs on the chants of "Bandh karo bhai!!!" (bappi da & himesh), well orchestrated & staged fights like WWE and lots of other talents that they possess. (If ever there was a reality show on writing... we'd make the best judge given the oodles of talents we have on writing crap)...

And for the contestants... well after having promised of contracts worth crores... all they get to do is to perform on other reality shows... the price which is about crores (thus keeping up the promise). Another reason why reality shows are multiplying like rats...

Did we tell you that the latest currency of India is SMS (which costs in INR). All of this is attributed to the reality shows. We were walking down the road when we spotted a beggar and just when we were about to give him money, we read a notice board above him that read
"Pls donate in SMS Only.
Send BHEEK {Amt} to 12345
Cost of SMS 06 Rs Only.. Conditions Apply".
Looks like this guy already has a dedicated server and a revenue sharing contract against his name.

Yanyways, if you think we have only mentioned the lower aspects of reality shows, let us surprise you by telling you that there are no Iyer aspects to it.. We just had it in the title to give us some publicity... after all we are posting so rarely these days...

PS: The author is now watching 3 reality shows simultaneously to rid him of the depression caused by another 3 reality shows. Please do not mind all that is written above, which got typed in a state of shock and depression

5 comments:

Karthik said...

LOL!
In future you may end your posts with:

For comments please SMS 'IYER ,comment>' to 555.

Abhi said...

a thought on brand new spoof reality shows that could brighten our spirits:

1) MTV (zor se) Chodi (India's wettest fart contest)
2) Kya aapki chaddi paanchvi paas se tight hai?
3) Who want's to lick my a&# (Judge - Amarsingh)

APOO said...

Could you please provide comeplete feeds... your posts only show up partly in google reader

ray said...

Hi ,

I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be wow.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog Iyer Education took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)

Cheers,

g-man said...

lol neat one...i am quite fed up with reality shows as well. the only one i think is worth watching is 'last comic standing' because at least we get to laugh :D i followed your same path a while back and posted on reality shows. actually i cribbed about them :D