Wednesday, May 23, 2007

We Wish...

... English was not such a funny language...

... Expressive and Impressive had been antonyms of each other... just like Extrovert & Introvert... (shuddav been Imtrovert... but what the heck)

Then we wouldn't have minded being slotted in either one... Its better than being in none ;)


Friday, May 18, 2007

Word – Software – Sleep...

We have been feeling awfully sleepy for the last couple of days… Alright make that weeks. At first we thought it was our body’s defense mechanism to… errr… umm… work. We haven’t done so much work in the past couple of decades. So our body had to react in some way or form. But then that assumption was only half true. It sure was a defense mechanism and it was also for work, but the defense was not because of the work but the TYPE of work…

… That type of work which a lot of people LOATHE… Believe us, especially when you have words like Loathe being typed in this post. That work in other words is called “Documentation”. Documentation, in the words of the great Sri Sri Sri Sri Prof Iyer, is defined as “The proof of work that you create so that others can blame you for creating it when you are long gone from the organization”.

Now that said and done, we think there is some kind of connection between the fingers, eyes and sleep. How else can you explain us feeling sleepy and eyes drowsy at this moment as we are typing this post? But then we wake up… This post is a short story… The official documents are volumes of unwritten Mahabharata… Which we keep creating… And it is not just us… We expect our subordinates to do it for us… And when it’s the time to review… we fall back into the fingers, eyes, sleep circle again.

At the same juncture we get to see ads for various pills that are available for the common man to get rid of his ailments. Frankly speaking, before coming here, we didn’t know that there are so many diseases in our daily routine. Now that we have realized that, we are beginning to feel sick. We didn’t feel anything till we came to know about the existence of such diseases.

Now it doesn’t take Einstien to put two and two together and deduce the fact that Microsoft should start positioning MS Word (software for documenting) as a Sleeping Software. Microsoft is facing too much competition and this surely is one way to get to the common people and have a larger audience. Seriously, they sure will make big bucks. And if they ever do it without paying us our dues, we are going to sue them. They could sell word in different versions… (You may find a pattern there… but they have got nothing to do with cigarettes…)

Word – Ultra Milds – For 5-10 min power naps
Word – Milds – For afternoon naps in office
Word – Lights – For weekend afternoon naps
Word – Classic – Normal 6-8 hours of sleep
Word – Hards – 8-12 hours of sleep
Word – Slumber – For sleeping thru the weekend
Word – Hibernate – For sleeping through a month
Word – Kumbhakaran (Premium) – Do you need explanation?

An ad for it would be a couple of insomniacs (literal married couple) sitting together on their laptops typing their way to glory on “Word – Classic” and then taking their pillows and falling asleep… Waking up to the doodling of the cock… err… rooster… to be politically correct, only to realize that it’s a Sunday and they have woken up early… continue typing on a document… and go back to sleep again…

PS: We have been typing on Word - Milds for some time now… so tootles

Monday, May 14, 2007

Wanted... Did... Learnt...

Since we couldn't think of what should we write for a post for the past month or so, we decided to go with our own Raam Kahani of what we wanted, what we did for it & what we learnt from it. And, if by any chance, while reading, you listen to any kind of sound, just ignore it... those are fake laughters we added to this post to ensure that atleast somebody has a good laugh on this one :)

Wanted: To Eat Waffles (the ads make it took awesome)
Did: Ate Waffles with some Sweet Strawberry something... er... sauce...
Learnt: Waffles are nothing but 32-64 hollow Shankarpalis(without the sugar) joined together and some sweet sauce filled in those hollows...

To feel like we were in Mumbai
Did: Travelled By Trains and Buses in Chicago
Learnt: Naah... nothing beats Mumbai... The trains and buses here are actually EMPTY... do you believe that? But there are certain railway stations here that resemble Dockyard Road (station high above the road), Kanjurmarg (nothing around the station), Mahalaxmi (station below a bridge) etc etc... But empty trains have higher weightage than railway station look alikes... So Mumbai still rocks...

To see chawls out here in Amrika
Did: Went Down Town
Learnt: All chawls in Amrika are vertically arranged. You have gazillions of chawls here that start from 35 storeys and go all the way till 100 storeys... This place has entirely changed our "orientation" about chawls :)

Wanted: To see Amrika
Did: Came here for a 3 month project
Learnt: However nagging your wife, mom, dad or sis could be, nothing can beat being around them... however annoying they get... So if at all uncle sam wants us again... the deal better be for the entire iyer bunch :)

We are going to meet Apoo to see around DC. So we guess he better learn that he shouldnt be showing the place around to the director of Iyer education if he wants to stick around here... so Apoo... here comes the trouble!!!