Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Hollywood Sequels - Served Iyer Style

Amrika can do strange things to you... It sure has does a lot of strange things to us... First and foremost we stay here alone, so we are half dead now. Given the fact that we were already half dead after having married our better half, we are almost there... to the land of the grim reaper... But then given our reputation for "Good" deeds, we are still alive and we are back from the clutches of death and on our way to sending you there :-) So welcome aboard the Iyer 740 non stop flight to hell...

Other than having made some stupidly tasting food and having the b@!!s in us to eat it too, we also have tried watching some English movies. Its something we rarely do because we are not able to understand any of those movies without subtitles. And since there are no other hindi, marathi, tamil, malayalam channels here, we spend most of our time watching some man/woman speaking about how the world is coming to an end... and it is the right time for us to give everything to god... but god only accepts that through the cash spent on buying products from the shows that follows... The guys dont know that we dont believe in donating money to god by buying nails, irons, hammers, hacksaws and other such likes... We believe in donating money through annadanams, archanas, poojas and so on and so forth. So we are saved by the wrath of god... phew... and so we digress...

Other than that we are not saved by the wrath of sleuth of movies in between advertisements, or probably its the other way round. And though we didnt understand anything in that movie, we liked it. Because everytime we saw a movie (regardless of whether we understood or not) and liked it. We came up with an idea of making an "Iyer" sequel to it.

The reason?

80% of the workforce we have met here are tams... and you still need reason?

90% among those 80% of the tam work force like Rajanikant...

95% of the guys who are among the 90% of the guys who like Rajanikant who are among the 80% of the workforce here believe that his stunts are for real...

85% of the 95%
of the guys who believe that his stunts are for real of the 90% of the guys who like rajanikant who are among the 80% of the workforce here believe that he is GOD...

okay now we have run out of stats... but we pretty much ensure that the above stats are for true... and this area is hot market for tam films... but the tams also like english films... so we cater to both of their needs by having an Iyer sequel to their existing english films... Here's the list... all production houses are requested to select a sequel of their own and let us know... We can work on the script and make sure that the movie is a super hit...

Shanghai Nanbar(Friend) would actually be a good sequel to Shanghai Noon and Shanghai Knights... (Jackie Chan can be given a role provided he can act like a chinese guy)

Harry Potter and Half Blood Thamburaan(prince/king), would be a good subject Mira Nair can take up for her next project, assuming she knows more about thamburaans than anyone around here...

Meet the Vaadyars (priests) is a logical step in the marriage process after the bride's parents have met the groom and the samdhis have also met each other. Vaadyaars are very important from conducting the wedding perspective...

Terminator IV - Uprising of the IT Hoard, would be a life saver. We wouldnt have to see the governor in that movie and we'd get to see real life performances by a lot of these guys here... fresh faces... fresh ideas :)

Pirates of Kanyakumari - The World's End, If you consider India as the world, Kanyakumari is definitely the world's end... kind of sort of... from the south... hmmm... what say?

Star Wars - Episode VII - Revenge of Sitha Maami, should place all of the south indians on the galaxy too... why should we be the only ones left out on inter-galactical themes... and we will support Sitha Maami on her next pod race championship... go maami go :)

Thats about it for this post... We already have overshot the number of sequels that you guys can bear with... that is "not a single"...

adios...

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

2 I-Years and almost alive...

Somehow this title seems to have a lot of meaning to us. Now we are two Iyers (Mr & Mrs) and it is 2 I-years ever since we have started blogging. And today is way way way way way belated past the 2nd budday of this blog.

The Comic Project's post on his completion of 2 yrs reminded us that we also have gone through two years of blogging in the blogosphere (now we assume that most of you are at The Comic Project... its a kick ass blog if you havent visited it by now... )

We havent been able to blog frequently for the past 6 months or so primarily because we have work to do, which we incidentally didnt have in the past 1.5 years. But look at the brighter side, we not blogging is a great service to humanity and the Iyer community is breathing a sigh of relief of someone from their own community is not making fun of them anymore... But the fact is that we have run out of ideas... and the new source of ideas, our wife, wont co-author this blog... She says, she's been already outcasted by the mallus... now she doesnt want the rest of the world to do the same... and we (silently as always)agree...

And the blog is almost alive with a few random posts here and there... very similar to our situation out here in amrika... just about alive... that too because we are confident that we will survive after eating whatever we have just cooked... if we didnt have that confidence, we'd be history by now...

So... though this blog looks like it is in Coma, we will try and update it a little more often and you can keep finding newer ways of not reading it... so there... the equation looks balanced now...

Happy Budday Bloggie... We will celebrate this with some home made wine (yup thats how rasam made by us out here tastes)...

adios...

PS: There are so many tams out here in this place that if you add another 100, then amrika would have to change its national language to Tamil... and we are looking forward to it... cmon you 100 guys, start applying for your VISA... we want to change the national language of this place before we leave ;)