Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Modern Day Curses...

"You will forget your all that you have learnt when you most need it" (Karna)

"You will die of the greivance of being away from your son" (Dasharatha)

"You will die in the next seven days after being bitten by the Takshaka Snake" (Parikshit)

"You will die at the attempt of consummation" (Pandu)

"You will be turned into a stone and will regain your normal form only after being touched by the holy feet of the form of Vishnu" (Ahalya)

"You will be born as a human being for the crime that you have committed" (Bhishma)

... are all examples of famous curses received by famous people as per our Hindu Mythology.

Curses were part and parcel of our Hindu Mythology and they were an interesting part in our epics and related stories. A curse in the epic was like a drama that is created just before the interval in a movie and the redemption from that curse would be like the climax of the movie. In essesnce, curses added color and variety and lot of other adjectives to the story.

As per Iyer Education's research finding, it is the lack of curse's in today's life is what is making life so dull (lets just assume that our lives are dull here) and taking life to the dogs... And by curse we are not talking about the daily curses that we receive from our mothers, fathers, wives, husbands et al. Those are just uttered... they arent MEANT... By curse we mean the formal types of curses that sadhus and rishis used to utter out with a palmful of water... Had those been there in today's life, we would be having a great and colorful life...

Now that we have said that curse's dont exist today, partially because we dont have qualified cursors (not the ones that blink on your screen) and secondly people wont even believe when they are cursed... given the kind of thoughts that people are moving away from traditional to more modern and technically advanced thoughts... So we wonder how curses would have evolved with time had they still been existing today... And we do that with situations where these sages could curse people... So here's a probable list of curse's you'd get to hear if curses did exist today.

Sage: I curse you that you... er.. er..
Offender: Any problems?
S: Er... What is your profession?
O: *proudly* Software Engineer
S: I curse you that your project will always to have scope creeps and it'd never get past the UAT stage... *sprinkles water using barber wala sprinkler*

S: What is your name?
O: Dr Dinanath Dhurandhar Dabbawaala...
S: *he he no need to ask profession at all*
S: I curse you that there would be a cemetry right next to your dispensary you will function as its ancillary unit... *sprinkles water with the Dr's syringe*

O: I am an accountant
S: I curse that your P&L and Balance sheet will never tally in any financial year and the auditor wont spare you... and your dream to become a CA will always remain a dream... *sprinkles water using fountain pen*

O: I am an MBA
S: I curse that you will forget all the jargons that you learnt at Wharton whenever you need them the most... *sprinkles water using hand shower*

O: College Student...
S: I curse that you will attend all the lectures and get an award for the student with the most attendance *sprinkles water from water cooler*

S: I curse that your comments section will always be empty and that you'd suffer from a block whenever you'd want to write something *sprinkles some e-H2O"

O: Westerner
S: I curse that you wont see mangoes and elephants in india *throws a piece of tissue paper* (those guys dont use water in anycase)

... alright alright... this list has come to an end.... let us type the magic word you've been dying to read...


Friday, February 16, 2007

Ctrl + C --- Ctrl + V

Yay... we are getting famous... or thats what it suggests... Let me take this opportunity to welcome someone, whose been "Ctrl+C 'ing" & "Ctrl + V'ing" a couple of our posts... Please find them here and here... And the original links are here and here (respectively)... What do we say... all signs of prosperity :)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


As we is writing this now, the wedding and the honeymoon is all over. Over as in Khatam ho gaya and not OVER OVER... and as usual there is a marriage that follows every wedding. And we is into that marriage just about a day now... not too much experience we say... but we are already on to it now and we are blogging about it... so we guess it must be quite interesting. If any married kapils want to throw some light on this one are most welcome to use the comments section :)

Firstly, we need to say something very peculiar about the wedding. Our garland in the wedding was just one inch shorter than our height. It looked like the garlands were made for some giant bakasuras or hidimbas or even south indian superstars and were used on us little mortals. This made the garlands sweep the ground every time we bent our neck to get aashirwaad. It was kind of funny as we had always thought that garlands were like neck ties... and not like night gowns :)

Secondly, we were told that the reception was quite well done. The place, ambience, decor and food were all awesome. Good we say. And we credit all of this to Iyeropatni. Why? Because she was the one who decided on all of it. And we substantiate it with the fact that Iyeropatni has good taste? Just look at her choice of hubby... oh alright... that is just what is called as the converse to the theorem... or exception to the rule to all the failures in geometry (including yours truly)...

now coming to the topic of this post... Iyerize...

Though Iyerize phoenetically sounds like High Rise it has nothing to do with tall buildings. Iyerize is the process that we have to follow to change a lot of habits of our wife from being mallu into being an Iyer, that she is right now. So we make this post as a "To Do List" to Iyerize Iyeropatni into being a full fledged Iyer. Now when we say "full fledged iyer" it means any normal iyer and all species that are like yours truly are automatically sifted out of the equation. (We are already outcasted and disowned by the iyers once we have started blogging). So here we make a list of all things/habits that we would change in Iyeropatni to make her into an Iyer. Please note that some of these habits are outdated and outmoded, but we still would like to instill those values in her.

1. Curd Rice Addict - We have to make sure that Iyeropatni is a Curd Rice addict. By that we mean that she has to have daily dose of thair saadam(curd rice) with pickle to make her day. Absence of it on any given day should make her do wierd things like saying good things about us, setting up a romantic candle lit dinner for the both of us and all other wierd mushy things. We really dont want to get her into doing all the above stuff, hence we want to make sure that she gets her daily share of curd rice and pickle. (Given her existing liking for curd rice, it wont be too difficult a task)...

2. Match Making Maami - This is something we have to be working really hard upon. Given her anti gossiping and being straight on the face nature, this task is really uphill and would take a lot of effort for us to train Iyeropatni to attend functions and talk to other Iyer maamis with elan about match making the "eligible" iyer ladkis with "eligible" iyer ladkas (preferably settled in the US)... We would suggest processess such as shadowing, reverse shadowing and the other likes to make sure that she picks this up quite quickly and rarely makes any mistakes with them... And if you think it is too early for her to do all of this, do remember that maria sharapova picket up the tennis racket at the age of 3 and went on to win the wimbledon at 18...

3. Sound of Carnatic Music: It is very difficult to train the ears to listen to Chambai Vaidyanaatha Bhaagavathar and MS Subbalakshmi when the ears are conditioned to listen to Dr Zeus, Rouge, Nelly Furtardo... You get the drift right? Yup this is the next task to do by making her listen to all forms of carnatic music. For that we'd probably start with remixing " Kangna" with "Krishna nee begane"... or something on those lines and then slowly move on to the hard core carnatic music ones that is so essential for being an Iyer maami... and just in case she's too much interested she may join the thyagaraja keerthanams singing at Thiruvaiyar and we can go there for our annual holidays...

We think these three are enough for us to last for this year. Next year we may prolly come up with another three. The reason we dont come up with all the 30 to do lists is that we have to take things slowly... one at a time... and more importantly we dont know what else to write :(

will let you guys know if we are able to iyerize iyeropatni... and to what extent...

PS:There is quite a good possibility that Iyeropatni would have made a similar list to Nairize us... so do not fret if you find us speaking stuff like zimbly... aundy... sqwayar... tyondy... and go yada yada about the advantages of coconut water...