Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Hollywood Sequels - Served Iyer Style

Amrika can do strange things to you... It sure has does a lot of strange things to us... First and foremost we stay here alone, so we are half dead now. Given the fact that we were already half dead after having married our better half, we are almost there... to the land of the grim reaper... But then given our reputation for "Good" deeds, we are still alive and we are back from the clutches of death and on our way to sending you there :-) So welcome aboard the Iyer 740 non stop flight to hell...

Other than having made some stupidly tasting food and having the b@!!s in us to eat it too, we also have tried watching some English movies. Its something we rarely do because we are not able to understand any of those movies without subtitles. And since there are no other hindi, marathi, tamil, malayalam channels here, we spend most of our time watching some man/woman speaking about how the world is coming to an end... and it is the right time for us to give everything to god... but god only accepts that through the cash spent on buying products from the shows that follows... The guys dont know that we dont believe in donating money to god by buying nails, irons, hammers, hacksaws and other such likes... We believe in donating money through annadanams, archanas, poojas and so on and so forth. So we are saved by the wrath of god... phew... and so we digress...

Other than that we are not saved by the wrath of sleuth of movies in between advertisements, or probably its the other way round. And though we didnt understand anything in that movie, we liked it. Because everytime we saw a movie (regardless of whether we understood or not) and liked it. We came up with an idea of making an "Iyer" sequel to it.

The reason?

80% of the workforce we have met here are tams... and you still need reason?

90% among those 80% of the tam work force like Rajanikant...

95% of the guys who are among the 90% of the guys who like Rajanikant who are among the 80% of the workforce here believe that his stunts are for real...

85% of the 95%
of the guys who believe that his stunts are for real of the 90% of the guys who like rajanikant who are among the 80% of the workforce here believe that he is GOD...

okay now we have run out of stats... but we pretty much ensure that the above stats are for true... and this area is hot market for tam films... but the tams also like english films... so we cater to both of their needs by having an Iyer sequel to their existing english films... Here's the list... all production houses are requested to select a sequel of their own and let us know... We can work on the script and make sure that the movie is a super hit...

Shanghai Nanbar(Friend) would actually be a good sequel to Shanghai Noon and Shanghai Knights... (Jackie Chan can be given a role provided he can act like a chinese guy)

Harry Potter and Half Blood Thamburaan(prince/king), would be a good subject Mira Nair can take up for her next project, assuming she knows more about thamburaans than anyone around here...

Meet the Vaadyars (priests) is a logical step in the marriage process after the bride's parents have met the groom and the samdhis have also met each other. Vaadyaars are very important from conducting the wedding perspective...

Terminator IV - Uprising of the IT Hoard, would be a life saver. We wouldnt have to see the governor in that movie and we'd get to see real life performances by a lot of these guys here... fresh faces... fresh ideas :)

Pirates of Kanyakumari - The World's End, If you consider India as the world, Kanyakumari is definitely the world's end... kind of sort of... from the south... hmmm... what say?

Star Wars - Episode VII - Revenge of Sitha Maami, should place all of the south indians on the galaxy too... why should we be the only ones left out on inter-galactical themes... and we will support Sitha Maami on her next pod race championship... go maami go :)

Thats about it for this post... We already have overshot the number of sequels that you guys can bear with... that is "not a single"...

adios...

8 comments:

Just Me said...

'Revenge of Seetha Maami' - now that's a movie one can relate to :P

ROTFL Iyer!! :)

Anonymous said...

Hey man,

Why are you spreading hatred about tamil speaking Indians?

If you don't like somebody, it does not mean, you can write anything about them..

I am very much dissappointed by the way, you create regional racism..

Regards,
Mahesh

Iyer Education said...

mahesh, have a sense of humour... if you cant take anything lightly, iyerospace is not the place :)

Mahesh Kumar said...

Mr. Iyer,

I am sorry, I have misunderstood your intention.

Regards,
Mahesh kumar

simplystupid said...

Dear Arun Dean,
Give some good iyer spoofs yaar. u too busy i guess and hence losing the touch of good ol humour .

Yors faithfullly

Simplystupid
roll no 420

andy said...

As a fellow Iyer and that too from Mumbai I found it amusing and interesting. Will read your other blogs also.

Arjun said...

Hahaha! Pirates of Kanyakumari! I love it! Starring Mohanlal and Rajinikanth as rival pirates after the secret to eternal youth... God knows they need it! :P

PS said...

Mira Nair is actually north Indian - like Nayar/ Nayyar. She just spells it like a Malayali.