Saturday, April 29, 2006

How an Iyer got kicked, got wild and finally cried!!!

Before you even start and try comprehending the title of this post, let us warn you that this is not a narrative of a duel between a donkey and us (can this be technically termed as a double role?). Neither is this about us being disowned by our very family for not performing ‘sandhyavandanam’ thrice a day. All those interesting incidents have not yet happened. The keyword being “not yet”. So you can bring all your ‘Iyerospace-thrashing-and-bashing’ minds back to the main topic of discussion.

This post is about Kavya Vishwanathan and her book “How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life”. Firstly we have chosen this topic because by her very name, we’d say, she is an Iyer. This means that it is of concern to all of us. Some of you may ask how she can be an Iyer when her last name is Vishwanathan. So before you may ask, let us reveal this secret out to you. South Indians (especially the ones from tamilnadu) don’t have surnames. Iyer is a “surname by default”. (If you are surprised, read it again if you wish to).

They generally use their father’s / husband’s name in place of surname. But the word ‘Iyer’ plays an important role when one’s father’s / husband’s name is as long as “Vilayannur Subramaniam Varadarajan Krishnamoorthy Doraiswamy”. In such a situation their full name spills out of the length of one page (both portrait and landscape). At this point they can adopt, at their own free will, the surname Iyer. They can also continue with the name that may spill out of the length of one page. The choice is with them. You see we believe in true democracy.

Similarly, we are very sure that this Kavya lady is an Iyer too. She took the smart way out and decided to drop the postal address part (that’s funny) from her fathers name and decided to keep just Vishwanathan. Which again means that she is an Iyer… just that the Iyer is silent (ha…that was a good one).

For the most of the people who know about her you can stay on this page. The others who need a brush-up on the background of this post please visit the FIR site where it all started (FIR = First Iyer Report… though a minority section of the people would like to call it as First Incident Report). Now that we are on an even keel, let’s proceed further with the post.

Firstly she admitted borrowing passages from the books of Megan McCafferty called “Sloppy Firsts” & “Second Beginnings”. Then she felt sorry for doing so but still maintaining that it was just “co-incidence(How so Anu-Malikish). But any amount of excuses of “co-incidences” did not go well with the publishers of Megan McCafferty’s books. And after all that drama, the publishers of Kavya’s books have called back all the copies that are with distributors and retail and wholesale outlets. The fate of the book is sealed and shelved. That’s it!!! Though I don’t know what is going to happen to the contract signed between her and her publisher. That part of the drama is yet to happen.

There are a couple of things that were so queer about this case. Let us list them down.

  • We still don’t know what the hell is a ‘sophomore(she is fondly called as a Harvard Sophomore)? We would like to believe that ‘sophomore’ is some strange flavoured buttermilk (buttermilk is called ‘more’ in Tamil and Malayalam). And we hope it definitely is that way because being an Iyer she surely must be loving buttermilk.

  • If she had to ‘Ctrl+C’ from some book and ‘Ctrl+V’ them onto her own book, why didn’t she think of publishing a book in Tamil, Malayalam, Hindi or even Swahili for that matter? Why would she want to make it evident that she has done what people like to fondly term as plagiarism (We thought this was something to do with rats and the disease that they spread).

  • Why couldn’t she write in the preface that she was “inspired” by Megan McCafferty’s “Sloppy Firsts” & “Second Beginnings”? Doesn’t she know the power of the word “inspired”. Bhappi Da and Anu Malik have been surviving on that one word for more than two decades.

  • She made sure that her name was all auspicious as per numerology (remember the ‘K’ word) but why couldn’t she find a title for her book that started with a ‘K’ (like Kyunki Opal Mehta Bhi Kabhi Virgin Thi) which would have ensured that she would have never got caught. All these ABCI’s (American Born Confused Iyer’s)… they don’t believe in anything. Hmpf…

Other than the above following queer issues, we have a couple of nice things to say to her… So here's the twist…

  • Firstly, thanks for not using the “default” surname. In any case we are already doing enough disservice to this Iyer community. They couldn’t have taken more than what is happening to them currently. Vishwanathan for a surname sounds perfect.

  • Secondly, KV, if you are reading this. We both are doing enough disservice for this Iyer community. We are both alike. Why don’t we get married or something? Provided you get to keep your $500,000 (that’s what she was paid for a 2 book contract) and you publish your suers… er er er… sorry… sue your publishers for ‘maanhaani ka daava(we really really don’t know the English counterpart of this) for another $10 Million.

  • Lastly, if you are bored and you have to write something. Please use Blogs. Like this wonderful blog (okay we accept… it’s an overstatement) that you are currently reading. Google ad-sense won’t pay you anywhere close to $500,000. But why do you need so much pocket money when you are studying. You will get enough money to buy yourself some candy, burger, pizza etc. “Padhai pe dhyaan do… nahi to eeskool se nikaal dengeSamjhe

Chalo, bahut ho gaya… Let the lady study…” is what her father is repeating to everyone who tries to trouble her. Let’s leave the young lady alone. Secondarily because she needs some respite from everything that’s going around her. And primarily because she is an Iyer. :=)

adios…

PS: Before you decide to hit the ‘x’ window on the top right, please go through Sepiamutiny’s article where parts of Kavya’s book are compared to the famous book “Holy Blood Holy Grail(Bird: This is an article of research for you). We don’t know how true it is but it sure is amazing. And it sure is much better than this post… Guaranteed!!!

Monday, April 24, 2006

Iyer Dictionary... A-Z

First & foremost, we would like to express our tons/quintals of gratitude to Alap & Abhijit who inspired us to write this post. Now that we have done the preliminary thanking business, we would get down to the real business right away, which happens to be writing the rest of this post.

This is another piece of the jigsaw puzzle of the new world order discussed here. This time around this happens to be your “Quick Reference Lookup” guide for you to understand the lingo of the “Planet Of The Appas”. A lot of these words are not currently appearing in the oxford dictionary, webster’s dictionary or even dictionary.com. But sooner or later they will be a part of all the three dictionaries and that is a “pakka vaada” from all of us at Iyerospace. Presenting to you “Sample Iyer Quick Reference Lookup Guide”. (Memorize the words in case you need to. You may need them at a later stage in life. For the convenience of the readers, the words are arranged in chronological order.)

{A-D}

Attiyer: This denotes the “clothes that people are wearing”. By default the values for attiyer would be “dhotis & silk sarees”. In case anything in particular needs to be described, it could be done with the help of proper adjectives. Eg. Formal Attiyer, Casual Attiyer, Fancy Attiyer etc.

Desiyer: This denotes the “strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen”. The default value for this would be the desiyer to have Idli/Dosa/Wada with Chutney and/or sambhar. Other desiyers can be described using the required adjectives like lusty desiyers, ambitious desiyers etc. (Warning: Not to be confused with Desi Iyers living abroad)


{E-H}

Empiyer: “A large group of states/commercial organizations ruled/under the control of a single monarch/person”. By default, the princely states/businesses of Kerala & Tamil Nadu can be expressed using this word without any adjectives. This word empiyer can be then be preceded by words like Reliance, British etc to provide meaningful meanings to those states/businesses.

Fiyer: One amongst the many meanings of the word Fiyer (other being something that burns) would be “passionate emotion or enthusiasm”. By default, it would cover the emotions and enthusiasms of all Iyer’s, Menon’s, Nair’s, Kutty’s and all other castes and sub-castes stated in the New World Constitution as “belonging to Madras & Kerala”. You can diversify the usage of fiyer by using nouns like belly, Bengali or Bengali belly et al.

{I-L}

Insinceiyer: “Saying or doing things that one does not mean”. By default, this would apply to all the castes and sub-castes stated in the New World Constitution as “Not Belonging to Madras or Kerala”. Otherwise this word can be used as an adjective like insinceiyer Iyer, insinceiyer menon etc.

Livewiyer: “An alert, active, or aggressive person”. The antonym of this word that would be specifically reserved for us and nobody else. Other than that, performances, performers, cricket players etc can all be adorned with this adjective. (And they will be charged for the using the antonym… hehe)

{M-P}

Millionair/Millioniyer: “A person whose wealth is estimated at a million or more”. (Wealth for calculation sake would be coconuts in this case). This is a freeware word, so to speak, which means, regardless of whichever community the person belongs to, as long as he/she has more than a million coconuts, he/she will be termed as a millionair/millioniyer.

Priyerity: “Something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives”. Would by default mean the importance given to all the people stated in the New World Constitution as “Belonging to Madras or Kerala”. Other than that, the usage of the same for inanimate objects is limitless and depends upon the vocabulary of the user to priyeritize the usage of this word.

{Q-T}

Retiyer: “To withdraw from one's position or occupation : conclude one's working or professional career”. The age for retiyering would be 60 and any person regardless or caste, gender or creed would be termed as a retiyeree. (This is because ‘pensioners’, which was actively used in the erstwhile era, sounds very rude and demeaning)

Satiyer: “A literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn”. This would be the most used expression form used by people stated in the New World Constitution as “Belonging to Madras or Kerala” to make fun of work done by the other people. (Only bird will be an exception to this rule and will be freely allowed to use satiyer provided he blogs every week)

{U-Z}

Umpiyer: “An official in a sport who rules on plays”. All the officials on all sports will be universally called umpiyers. No more referees or any other officials on any sport. It’s just umpiyers across the board. Right from the first till the fourth. Umpiyers all the way…

Vampiyer: “The reanimated body of a dead person believed to come from the grave at night and suck the blood of persons asleep”. All ghosts, chudails, dayans, bhoots will now be universally termed as vampiyers. This is done keeping in view the complexity involved with classifying the dead in the erstwhile era. This again will be a freeware word, so to speak.


That my friends, was a sneak peek into the quick reference look up guide. More words will be added to this list by our expert panel of members who are currently busy reading “Rapidex English Speaking Course – Learn English in 30 Days” and are in their 8th day of reading. So we estimate another 22 days of reading and then another 3 days of compilation and we should be out with the alpha version of the book before rainfalls. (Otherwise the book will be wet no!!!)

adios…

PS1: I don’t mean to demean any other caste/sub-caste or creed and this thing has been done in nothing but pure humour. So all you non-madrasis/non-mallus can just read it, have fun and have a good day. If you want to take to heart, please do it but at your own risk.

PS2: If you still didn’t get PS1, try re-reading it and keep reading it until you understand it… till then… happy looping…

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Team Southie!!!

Firstly it was a world taken over by madrasis / mallus. Then it followed by madrasi / mallu rockstars. It was then followed by a south Indian fairy tale. Eventually to be followed by madrasi /mallu movies of our choice. Our love for my fellow south Indians has gone from better to best (I don’t know if that’s the right phrase). And I am sure the vice versa must also be true. (Assuming that the vice versa would be fellow south Indians love for us going from bad to worse). It has been a wonderful journey all along. And taking we would like to take this journey forward and develop all the building blocks of a “New World Order”.

  • A new world that is dominated by South Indians.

  • A world where filter kaapi kicks asses of all CCD’s & Starbucks’ et al.

  • A world where burgers have idlis & uttappams in them.

  • A world where food is served on banana leaves.

  • A world where all dishes have coconut in them

  • Etc… etc… etc…

You get the drift right? The list is endless. We will properly draft this list for the MOL (Memorandum of Living) and AOL (Articles of Living) for the non southies to survive in this world. That again is a different post. We need this blog to survive right? We cannot have all our ideas into one post like Sooraj Barjatya / JP Dutta have all the cast in one movie and the movie releases and bombs in the box office… Right?

So this post is dedicated to having a team of sportspersons in the new world order. The game selected would be cricket. And we would have a team of all south Indians in the cricket team. Cricket being the religion in India (let us, for now, discount the popularity of football in Kerala on two counts 1. the rest of India doesn’t like it & 2. We don’t know much about it), we would definitely have a cricket team of our own in the new world order. I don’t know if there would be any team to play against because the concept calls for one country, one world, one everything etc etc. But phir bhi… we should have a cricket team of our own just in case we need it…

We have decided to pick up the best players from every country and “southindianofy” them and place them in the team. Please bear with us. The process of southindianofying is very complicated and involves bathing in water from sacred rivers after being thoroughly massaged with aromatic oils from Kerala. This is followed by wearing the abdomen guard to protect one’s you know what. This would be followed by wearing of the traditional white lungi and baniyan, which would be the official dress code of the cricketers. (We also predict extra time to be allotted in form of special breaks to pull the lungi up and down for agility and proper movements, but that’s insider information… so let’s leave it just at that)

So here it goes. We mean the team. We call it “Team Southie”. The juggernaut that would steam-roll (not momos you idiots) the rest of the world (if at all they would exist then) as quoted by Mr. Siddhu. Please note that the batting order will not be changed as we do not believe in the current Dravid & Chappel Theory of catching the opposition off-guard by changing the batting order.

  • Sajin Tendukutty (VC) – Splendid opening batsman with an almost unbeatable record. Erstwhile he was playing for India for a very long time and some elbow injury caused a huge turnaround for his career. But he still is into the team as the vice captain.

  • Aditya Gilkrishnan (W) – The most destructive keeper batsman of all times. Erstwhile, as an Australian, he has shown no respect towards any bowler.

  • Rahul D-Ravindran – The Wall. The only player who could fit in, in a number 3 position in this team. Being an inhabitant of erstwhile India, he is technically the most solid batsman in the entire universe.

  • Rishi Ponnusaamy (C) – A great ex-Australian batsman & captain. Is in race with Sajin Tendukutty for scoring the most no of tons in the longer version of the game. Given his form, he can definitely overtake it… A great mix of temperament & aggression rightly deserves him to be the captain.

  • Keshavan Pichumani – The great ex-British destroyer of bowling attacks. The guy who confuses people around the world with his haircuts. An excellent middle order batsman with nothing but aggression in his stride.

  • Jayendran Krishnamoorthy – One of the best erstwhile South African all rounder. One of the only players whom one can entrust opening with both the bat and the ball. A great asset to this side. A must have.

  • Warghese Anandam – Ex-Pakistani magician left arm swing bowler. Can swing the ball 360 degrees in front and behind the batsman. Can be lethal with the bat on his day.

  • Shankaran Warrier – Popularly known as the “wizard of oz”, this ex-australian leg spin bowler is one of the best in the business. Is a real must in any cricket team.

  • Govindan Mahalingam – Nicknamed the “Pigeon” for his accurate bowling, line and length. This ex-australian has claimed the most number of test wickets as a fast bowler. He definitely is a must when it comes to the fast bowling department.

  • Sadish Hariharan – A wonderful tall, lanky fast bowler representing the erstwhile England. A bowler who was very much responsible for the englishmen’s Ashes victory after a very long time. A genuine fast bowler with no suspicion of action to have in the team

  • Muthiah Muralidharan (no change) – True blue south Indian off spinner. The only tamilian in the erstwhile srilankan team. Has taken the most number of test wickets in the least number of games. The only bowler to give the “wizard of oz” a run for his money…


Take a look at the future of cricket… Right here, right now… it is wonderful. It almost resembles the world XI of today. Doesn’t it? Oh please do not mention it. Its alright… No need to thank me… We thought it was our duty to warn you much before this actually happens. Our duty you see… Now we wonder, in this new setup this team must definitely be No 1. After all being No 1 when you are the only one shouldn’t be much of a problem we tell you…

So there… Another piece in the “New World Order” puzzle revealed…

adios…

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Iy… er… almost got robbed!!!

Yup… read the title again… if it doesn’t make sense, let me put some sense into it.

I… er… er… almost got robbed” of my new mobile phone.

The keyword though is “
almost”. Read the rest of the post for the entire story, in case you are interested in petty thefts et al.

Me, my father and my sister were returning at around 9 PM from the temple after attending a bhajan session. Okay I do attend bhajans and all… I like them… but all that can be discussed later. Nowadays, temples strictly ask you to put your mobile phones off or put them on silent mode. And being an obedient devotee, I had done just that. So when we all were returning, I had the mobile phone in my hands and was changing the profile from “silent” to “general” when suddenly this guy appears from nowhere and snatches the mobile phone from my hand and starts running…

It took a fraction of a nanosecond for me to realize that someone was actually eloping with my phone. I shout at the top of my voice the clichéd “Chor Chor” and take off after him. It must have looked like an antelope was being chased by a baby elephant. But the point of matter is that the elephant too took off like an F1 car from the starting point.

The guy was running very hard would have easily outrun me and taken away my phone, when out of nowhere, this guy slips on the road and the baby elephant pounces on his back. The telephone slips out of his hands and he tries to get up again and try to run. But how can an antelope run with a heavy bag sack on his back. My dad came running behind and picked up the phone. My sister was too surprised with the entire incident to be able to react to it.

This was followed by a mild public bashing, including my papa and me and handing over this petty thief to the police, who then had a bashing of their own. Let me not even try and describe that to you, but I will give one piece of advice. Don’t get caught by the cops on the wrong side of anything. They will smash you harder then MS Dhoni or Adam Gilchrist smashing the cricket ball. You really don’t want to see that…

Now comes the interesting part of the story after it is over. The guy revealed that he had stolen 5 or 6 mobile phones in the last two days and was never caught. He was still a petty thief as compared to some big mobile rackets that are going around this city today. But he could have eloped again if he hadn’t slipped. So lets get into flash back mode and see how he slipped…

The guy started running with the phone and managed to cross the road, when the signal that was turning onto that road went green thus sending millions (okay over exaggerating) of vehicles onto that road. This guy got ‘hadbadofied’ (I couldn’t find the English equivalent of this word… so if you are from Mumbai you sure would get it) at all the vehicles coming onto him and slipped and was caught by yours truly. Now it sure had to be something… no let me use the right word… SOMETHING… that made this guy slip or let’s say something to do wih the timing of the signal going green. It could be his speed or it could be good luck on my behalf or it could have been god’s grace or whatever that you would like to call it.

I have settled with the third because I do believe in his supernatural presence in this world. This was one incident that made my faith in him stronger than ever or else I cant find any reason to explain why someone who was as agile and good at stealing 5-6 mobiles in a couple of days get caught at this incident. I know a lot of you would like to disagree on this count, but it’s alright… you can keep your points of view to yourself. I am happy with mine. Thank you God, Thank you Dad… Without you guys catching this antelope would not have been possible for this baby elephant… Thanks again…

adios…


PS: Luckily I had the unusually heavy cover of the mobile phone put back on just the day before; otherwise it would have been broken the moment it slipped out of the thief’s hands. Another coincidence to explain that “supernatural” presence. May be… May be not…

Friday, April 07, 2006

NASAL we stand... VOCAL we fall...

Do you know the biggest threat to India today? No it is not Pakistan… Neither is it the Nuke Treaty… Naah, not Bush either… It is our very own “Himesh Reshammiya” aka HR (not to be confused with any stream of management… although they also are threats of sorts in their own rights… but nothing compared to the man himself).

This man (HR) is a logical bomb who is programmed to enter people’s brains through their eardrums after he has created a big enough hole in them with his vocal (or should i say nasal) chords. He then slowly & silently, over a period of time corrodes and incapacitates the thinking power of that person. (I don’t believe I wrote that… Hanging around with alap has finally paid off…)

One of my behavioral management teachers gave me the example of the “Thanda Matlab Coca-Cola” lines being bombarded (I have not even changed the verb) a thousand times when asked about an example of “Classical Conditioning”. But I am sure she must have changed with time and must have come up with a better and up-to-date example of “Classical Conditioning” and it sure must be none other than the man himself, HR. And I am sure his initials go along very well with the subject to which the topic belongs to… HR. I am not here to bring out similarities between the subject and the tormentor. It just happens to be a coincidence. Okay no more digressions, promise…

Now something has to be done about this guy. I don’t know if I am the only one who is bothered with his antics these days, but this guy is unbelievable. Or let me say he is plain “deaf”. The only reason why I believe that he is deaf is the fact that if he could hear, then he would have been subject to his own torture and would have stopped singing. He also could be a “sadist”. I mean if not deaf, he is definitely a sadist who gets all the pleasure when he sees the millions around him in tremendous pain. Whatever he is, he is to television what yours truly is to blogosphere (that’s the best simile I could find).

Now coming back to HR and his antics, I think something is needed to curb this guy especially his “basic instinct” to sing. I wouldn’t say much about his instinct to compose because I think he is a good composer and has quite a good number of hit and famous songs to his credit. Let us keep the composing part separate. But coming back to HR… Something… and I mean something “drastic” needs to be done to this guy to keep him from singing and tormenting the public at large. And this is another drive by yours truly in the name of public service, that I am presenting to you guys ways in which we can curb/halt/put an end to this guy’s acts of singing…

  • Insert… sorry wrong word… Shove an inhaler (or any other object of approximately the same size) into his nose while he is singing. Nasal that he is, there would be immediate silence till the time the inhaler (or the object) is present in his nose. But this is more of a temporary measure and has to be followed up persistently to provide long term benefits. This wouldn’t be suggested in the long run. But can be used effectively in the short run till we come across some other solution.

  • Ask the government to slap charges of POTA (Prevention of Terrorism Act) on his songs thus bringing them under Terrorism umbrella. Any song further released would be treated as “Planned & Organized Terrorism” created to disrupt the smooth functioning of the society.

  • Just like the health minister banned the on-screen usage of cigarettes, we could ban the on-screen usage of mikes (both stationery and hand held). I think the mike is one fundamental reason why HR keeps singing songs one after another. If we are able to ban the display of mikes on screen, I am sure his singing would come to a halt.

  • Observation: HR sings with his eyes closed. A request to all the directors of his music videos. HR should be made to sing with his eyes wide open. If he is able to see the trauma on the faces of the people at large (even if those people happen to be the people behind the cameras i.e. the crew) and if he has that little bit of what they call as a “good heart”, I am sure he would gracefully quit singing. So much so for self pity… hmpf…

  • All music channels should go international. For that matter they can start playing tam and mallu songs (better quality than international I say) if there is a dearth of songs. Since everyone is going desi and there is nothing on the desi circuit other than HR songs, they are forced to showcase his songs. I would prefer to see fat south Indian actors and actresses dancing and shaking the dance floor instead of HR. Anything other than HR…

  • Ask HR to sign a contract for an unlimited period to compose music for all the serials of Miss K. He will be so bogged down with work composing for all the unlimited ‘tear-filled’ ‘K’ serials that he may quit singing. Another possibility is that he may suffer a ‘mental breakdown’ and turn hostile towards singing and music.

I have compiled the above list only for public service. Its something that I do out of my care for the general betterment of people at large. If you too have any noble ideas (actually any idea, however destructive it is, would still justify as noble in this case) you are most welcome to contribute to this list and help him get rid of his singing…

PS: I forgot to mention the “naara” of this whole “andolan”… it is “NASAL WE STAND… VOCAL WE FALL”… please use it fully and constructively and all other ‘ly’.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

SPECIAL ANNUAL I(yer)SSUE...

Hurry… Offer Valid Till Stocks Last!!!

Special Annual I(yer)ssue is one good way to promote this blog isn’t it?

{Begin Annual Issue Esspeshial Story}

Eggjactly one year ago, on this very date, ahem-ahem, 4th of April 2005 it was I vividly remember, amongst the chiming songs of “Boney M”, which goes… “Iyer’s Blogchild Iyerospace, was born on this very day”, was an angel (err not exactly an angel by any angle, but let me just be happy one day) blog uploaded. A day after the blog got uploaded, the author held the blog upside down and decide to spank the blog with the publish button so that it may come to life. Yes it did come to life with a horrific sounding hue and cry that still is echoing in the blogosphere. And the worst part (for all you guys) is that it managed to survive the first year of its inception, where most blogs are vulnerable to all sorts of diseases like “Bloggers-block-o-phimosis”, “Tag-me-and-you-lylolis”, “Post-a-mug-photosis” and various other diseases to be alive on its first birthday.

The road to survival was not very difficult especially after the municipal authorities and the very own kaarporetor decided to provide a helping hand to the author and provide all the required documentation (RSS, Template et al) to provide the kid with an identity in this world. I am seriously telling you guys, if you thought just bringing a child into existence was the most difficult thing in the world, try registering the child for nationality, ration card, security number etc, I am sure you would overcome your doubts regarding the most difficult thing w.r.t a child.

What next? Feeding? Yup Feeding it is… Initially, the kid was fed by some stupid posts that nobody decided to read, except for the same municipal authorities and the kaarporetor, that too because they weren’t paid for the documentation done by them and were trying to keep in touch with the author for repayment of dues. But one night, the author got blind sighted by some light and in this state of blind sightedness started feeding posts to the blog that made some sense or nonsense (one and the same thing when you consider this author). Now the kid looks (keyword here is “looks” and everyone knows looks can be deceptive) pretty decently fed (as in khaate peete khaandaan ka lagta hai). Let me again give this piece of advice to all “to-be” parents… Please feed your kids with good stuff, and don’t follow the footsteps of what the author fed his blog… You may end up with a “psycho” of a kid running after you to rip your heart apart.

The following topic will create a lot of sounds that goes like “eeeks”, “yucks”, “ewwwws” and all form of expressions that would express something that is grotesque. But you have to understand the fact that when it comes to kids, “crap” or “shit” is something that every parent has to deal with. The quote “shit happens” occurs more often with kids and that becomes even more frequent when the kids are less than a year old. Generally shit happens after you feed the kid, but in this case shit happened when the blog was fed and the dreaded “Publish” and/or “Republish Entire Blog” button was pressed. And shit happened all over. Trust me it did… This blog shat “on RSS feeds”, “on the exclusive blog template (which is like the lush kashmiri carpet)”, “on the blog page room”, “on the front room” and every possible nook and corner. But all that was carefully taken care of by the ever cautious readers who made sure that they never stepped on any of it (and someones helped clean the shit by adding some clean-up comments of their own). Good to have you by guys but bear with this blog, the kid is just one year, it will keep shitting atleast for the next couple of years, you have to take all the possible precautions to keep away from it and place your foot at the right places.

Finally all kids need company to play. You know peer pressure starts right from the beginning. And trust me this lil kid has got amazing company in the first year of its inception. Though I wouldn’t say the peers were kids like this, they were more of mature college professors. But they got along amazingly well with this kid, sometimes acting like a kid just for the heck of it. And trust me; I am very happy for this kid to have such a good company, right from the beginning. Thank you all the (old aged) college professors for being around and guiding this “headless chicken” of a kid to some sane place.

And the kid is still alive today… Right here in front of you… Narrating its own stupid story… With the thought that it would share the same with you, next year… and the year after that… and the year after that… (teen ke aage ginti nahi aati, so I stop here)

{End Annual Issue Esspeshial Story}

Iyerospace completed one year of an inconsequential existence in this blogosphere. A year that had a combination of good posts and bad posts, good ideas and bad ideas (good birds and bad birds… okay bad joke… still don’t get it… fellow Bloggers… idea… bird… ring a bell… still not… chal jaane de… aage badh), good templates and bad templates and a lot of other mixture of good and bad things. All the while making it fun… I hope I can come up / churn enough ideas to survive for the next year… But Kal kisne dekha hai… Kal Ho Na Ho… Let me wish my Blog a happy budday and give it “Dirghaayushyamaan Bhava!!!” ka aashirwaad, even though I know the concept of blogging will soon be a passé and something new would definitely come up.

They say time passes by when you are having fun and enjoying what you are doing. And you will die for the time to pass by when you are not enjoying something you are doing. One year of existence passed off like it just happened a day ago. I sure must be having fun… Let me enjoy it as long as I can… Even if it is at the cost of your good (physical and mental) health…


adios…