Friday, November 03, 2006

Relationships and Physics…

Read it again you dirty minds, it is not relationships and physical. It is relationships and physics (the subject). After going through a spate of articles on relationships on various newspapers we have come to the conclusions that the guys who write such articles must have had Physics as their area of specialization in their college days. And this is not any one of the tukkas that we often make at Iyer Education. This is thorough research material that we created during out short hibernation period of about a week.

If you look at these articles the most frequently used words in these articles are “Space” and “Time”. And article after article you find these guys re-iterating the importance of space and time in a relationship. Who else can make such great statements about such important physics related concepts other than people who have studied physics in college? We are also very sure that they have deliberately left out discussing the importance of Mass in a relationship by taking into consideration the sentiments of rotund individuals like us (we are very grateful to them). Now we are digressing. Now we come back to the point.

At first we thought these articles were very helpful and would go a long way in nurturing a relationship. And we followed them. And look what has happened. We strongly recommend you not to go through such articles and even if you do take it with a quintal of salt (you won’t be able to take it at all). We narrate you a set of incidents in our own personal life and our reactions to them Before Reading and After Reading such articles. The two parameters are space and time. And the “mukhya kalakaar” of this would be (your highness) “Iyerospace (IS)” and “Iyeropatni(IP)

Before Reading

(In BEST bus)

IP: IS, I think I need some space…
IS: Oh sorry, I am so fat I have actually used up your part of the seat too… there… (shifts)
IP: Ohhh shitttt… You are just terrible…
IS: Ehh… Sorry… you still need more space?

(On the road)

IP: I think I need some time…
IS: What a terrible day… You asking me this the day I forgot to wear my watch…
IP: Shut up wise guy… Don’t act too smart…
IS: Eh… what can I do… I am like that only…
IP: Oh shit… just shut up man…

After Reading

(In BEST bus)

IP: IS, I think I need some space… (This time she needed the seat)
IS: Don’t worry. I have taken a place in New Mumbai… Very far from here…
IP: Very smart… Now move your fat butt away from my area of the seat…
IS: No seriously… And that way we’ll meet just once a week… Good for you…
IP: Stop cracking wise cracks… and move… will you?
IS: Saala koi ijjat nahi hai kya mera? Chal bhag…

(On the Road)

IP: I think I need some time…
IS: Don’t you worry… I am working American timings nowadays… 1-10…
IP: Kyun dimaag khaata hai… Just tell me what time is it? I’m getting late…
IS: Sacchi yaar… now I wont bug you with all those calls… You’ll get a lot of time
IP: There’s the train… now shall we go… you are just unbearable…
IS: Alright… what the hell yaar… no value only…

And look what has happened after we began to follow it. We got ENGAGED to Iyeropatni. Can you believe that? That is like being served a 7 year rigorous punishment for being a good guy (the life imprisonment has been reserved for marriage).

And now we think to ourselves. Physics was never our cup of tea (or filter kaapi). That is why we just got enough marks to scrape through into a commerce college. We should have known that. We should have understood that. But these articles, they just have got in half baked physics into our brains (they have left the mass out right?). Now we are working on draining all the physics out of our brains. And at the same time we are also preparing ourselves for rigorous life imprisonment. Need your well wishes (and some gray haired receivers to receive us from the jail after 14 years… a la bollywood film). “Central Jail” here we come… Damn you column writers…

adios…

PS: All of the incidents narrated above are fictional. They have just been created to fill up some empty space on this blog. We didn’t want to add the PS part here, but Iyeropatni is standing with a gun on my head right behind me… So… Bhavnaaon ko samjho yaar

15 comments:

mojindro said...

after a long time im back again..
and as usual enjoyed ur post as its best...
rahi bhavnaaon ki baat so i leave that to guys to understand her...

abhi said...

:)

Anonymous said...

Bhavnaon ko samjhna hi to hamari aadat hain :-)

btw, you can come up with something better regarding the colums written in newspapers regardinf relationships..Do give it one more shot :-)

Cheers,
HP

silverine said...

Hey congrats buddy on managing to convince a nice gal to walk into your prison cell!!! :P

iyer education said...

@mojindro, bhavna is not a woman... though i wouldnt mind understanding her also ;)

@abhi, :))

@hp, new beta avtaar? tum bhi bhaavna ko samajhte ho... ek aur aashik? when it comes to relationships its iyeropatni who gives the shots in the form of slaps and kicks... that does not come under my purview...

@silverine, the cupid always strikes and misses... and the mishit person is what you fondly call as husband/wife ;)

Cloudy said...

Brilliant! Space, Time....and Mass!!!! :D

And good to see IP here - there's an IP on TCP too, so we need something to distinguish, no?

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hey....Kya jail wail likha hai..Do u know she is walking the green mile (as in jail) too?....:)

Anonymous said...

Yes, yesterday I heard a physicist telling somebody that these "agony-aunts" and other relationship advisors would come up with The Unified Theory before physics people. Just need to factor mass in, they already got space, time, gravity (attraction) nailed in you know ;)

KJ said...

ek "bhavna" we can understand, but "bhavnaon"... tch tch tchhh... james bond...ur licence to kill is under process of being REVOKED... beware...

:P

KJ

Anonymous said...

my gudness...going a lil above my head :P

iyer education said...

@cloudy, thengew... just get back to blogging....

@scribz, so let her blog about it in her blog... until this space becomes "Mr & Mrs Iyer Education" only my sufferings will be highlighted... btw she doesnt blog :P

@fleiger, so my research is not just tukka... it is based on some factual observations that i managed to leave out and you just plugged in... BRILLIANT :)

@kj, anek is always better than ek... ek main aur teen jack... hamesha acha rehta hai... aur aaj tak sirf james bond badalta gaya hai (now you have a new bond)... license aaj tak change(ya renew) bhi nahi hua hai... woh aisa hi hai aur aisa hi rahega :P

@white forest, you are the SAFEST i'd add... be like that wonly and you'll be happiest :)

Anonymous said...

Unless, what I heard (and said) is a bigger tukka than you tried ;)

Sanjay said...

What is this supposed to mean to us humble desciples sar?
Does it mean that we will not be able to share as much time and space... or we just being edged out???
Is it a movement and are we all expected to go to jail.
Please be guiding sar

nidhi said...

Aweasome man!!! I was a science student in school (couldn't digest it after that)...but trust me no one got these physics principles in my head better than you...You ROCK...now i can tell my mum; "i want to go for 'iyer education'. Just being a graduate won't do"

KJ said...

plijj to put new post..

:p

KJ