Friday, October 06, 2006

Iyergiri…

So what’s hot these days, apart from the weather here though? The only thing that we could think of, after the release of “Lage Raho Munnabhai” was the applicability of Gandhigiri in ones life. You read newspapers, you listen to FM Radio or you change channels, one of the most talked about topic is of course Gandhigiri. And so are the million debates over the fact as to whether gandhian principles are applicable today and would they work or otherwise and many other aspects of the same.

But then there is one unsaid/unspoken principle that rules the life of almost all the tambrahms around the world. And that we would like to call it as “Iyergiri”. The last time that we saw the word ‘giri’ next to anything Iyer was the name of a middle aged mama. His name was “Sheshagiri Iyer”. But other than that, we haven’t seen any giri near Iyers. Not even Ratnagiri comes close to Trishur, even though both of them lie in the same line of Konkan Railways, but lets leave that to Lalooji and his plans for connecting both these places using some Garib Iyer Rath or something on those lines.

So we give you tips and tricks to fall for this good looking gal called Jahnavi (Vidya Balan). Don’t even try using Gandhigiri in real life to impress her. You may fall into unwanted complications. Try using Iyergiri instead.  Why? Arey simple yaar… because she is an Iyer. So here’s what you do to sweep Jahnavi (J) off her feet (and send her flying into the air making her do 3 continuous somersaults and then fall flat on her back… alright that’s sick).

Warning: Prior watching of Lage Raho Munnabhai is much preferred in order to understand the circumstances under which the following actions are carried out. And in case you don’t understand what is written here, please sponsor tickets for the movie yourself. Iyer Education does not take the responsibility of sponsoring those tickets for you.

  • Firstly you go to her grandfather(s) and explain them the advantages of “Curd Rice” (Thair Sadam) for their bodies in such an old age and also explain the various ways in which they can consume the same along with different pickles and so on and so forth. Make sure that you don’t go overboard with preaching stuff like Avial, Sambar, Rasam, Payasam and so on and so forth in the first meeting itself. Take it slowly. One thing at a time. There is nothing more important in the Iyer tradition other than curd rice. Curd Rice is the stepping stone to Iyergiri. Once this stone is stepped, all other stones can be easily taken care of.

  • Secondly, you take the old people and J to places like Guruvayoor, Trishur, Tirupati, Shirdi, Haridwar and all other devotional and religious places. If you are following Iyergiri then Goa is just not the right place to take these guys. And if you take them to Goa, then all the mehnat that you had done in the first lecture will go in paani. Alternatively you can suggest Lucky Singh to arrange for a tour package to Ashtavinayak or Jyothirlingam for that matter.

  • Thirdly, when the bungalow is taken away by the builder, you, like all peace loving Iyers should not retaliate and keep mum. And you could suggest taking J and all her old grand fathers to your family place in Vilayannur, Palakkad, Allepy or any other place in kerala or madras for that matter. Please mind that the place need not be a palatial one owned by Raja Ravi Verma or any other south Indian king, but should be enough to occupy 6 oldies, yourself and J. This could also be an opening for you to take J to the backwater rides of kerala and keep all the oldies closer to the country of god, thus making devotional and religious trips easy and perennial throughout the year.

  • Fourthly, you, along with J should take over the radio station (promoted by worldspace in this case) and start playing the likes of Yesudas, SPB, MS Subbalakshmi, Chitra and lot of other carnatic flavored south Indian music. In between you could also respond to calls of people by suggesting them to become a vaadyaar (pandit) and lootofy people of their monies in ceremonies like marriage, engagement, death of someone etc so that the person could return his father’s money that he lost in the share market. You could also help people who run away from marriages by telling them that how lucky they were that they are not getting married the iyer style and by explaining the rites and rituals of the iyer style marriage, thus scaring them and make them go back to their marriage and continue with their business.

We’d suggest you follow the following steps for the next 245 working days and J is all yours for your entire lifetime. That is our guarantee (which is valid only till tomorrow).

tootles…

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

And I was thinking "Idly" plays an important part in Iyergiri. Maybe that's why my J just left me to do three summersaults in the air and fall flat on my nose :)
And who's going to play Iyer Sir in the movie I ask?

Kautilya said...

gandhi appeared 2 munna...in lage raho... that was for gandhigiri...

now whose gonna appear... for iyergiri?...(some how reminds me.. of a post which has got something 2 do with Iyer n wet sarees!)

Curd Rice is the stepping stone to Iyergiri.
can't agree more(mooru) with ya!

On a more serious note, 2days world needs gandhigiri. "Mahatma Gandhi belonged to the future, not to the past." in the words of Nobel laureate and former Premier of Israel, Shimon Perez.

Thrisur does not come on Konkan line....
Ratnagiri to Suratkal, thats Konkan for ya...

Anonymous said...

@fleiger, sorry bro... nothing takes the place of curd rice... and how about me playing "The Iyer" in the movie?

@kautilya, alright my geography is bad... but i could have used "Shornoor" and nobody would have got it :P...

Anonymous said...

Will remember that now...
And about "The Iyer", given your photo on "Idli with Jam"... not a bad idea actually ;)

Anonymous said...

LOL :))

This was a very nice class, very educative and since three quarter of my office guys are in love with Vidya Balan, (the rest are madly in love) I am internalising this Chapter in our Internal Newsletter :p

p.s. Since curd rice is my staple I will glady marry an Iyer :)

Anonymous said...

ROFL. you have truly surpassed yourself! I'm sure these classes will work miracles on Vidya balan- she being an Iyer POnnu herself(and a deeply religious one at that).

Rohan said...

i knew of this guy called allagiri iyer...

Kusum Rohra said...

You might be Killed by anyone who tries this Iyer. So be scared, very scared :P

iyer education said...

@fleiger, thank you for seconding my thoughts... now i will play "The Iyer" in the movie... if at all it is ever made

@silverine, so ur prepared to marry an iyer haan... but i say its very difficult to find an iyer who's had a live in for about a year or so... so ready for compromise then?

@sensorcaine, she is religious? so can we add ganapathi homam and bhagavathi seva to the iyergiri list too?

@rohan, allagiri iyer... a very unusual name i say... i plan to name my kid ratnagiri (provided my wife's name is ratna and she falls for me[giri])

@kusum, the person must be alive after trying this... and if you dont know let me tell you that dead people dont kill :P

KJ said...

LOL...
super!!!!

u at ur usual best...with iyer"giri...
It is a wonder that they they have not excommunicated u from the "iyer clan"
:p

:D

hugs

KJ

iyer education said...

@KJ, thengew vairy much... and the day they oust me out of the iyer clan i would land directly in GELF to eat your sar for making such a comment in the first place thus instigating them to take this action :P

rambal1 said...

Anybody uses eeya chombu to make rasam Is it safe? Does it contain lead