Monday, August 14, 2006

Jargons!!!

I first right clicked on the word "Jargon" in the MS Word document and found that MS Word doesn't have any synonym attached to it. On further investigation on Dictionary.com, this is what they have to say about the word jargon.

 

"Nonsensical, incoherent, or meaningless talk.

 

A hybrid language or dialect; a pidgin.

 

The specialized or technical language of a trade, profession, or similar group.

 

Speech or writing having unusual or pretentious vocabulary, convoluted phrasing, and vague meaning" .

 

The first thing that came to our mind was that this particular website needs to have sub-nested synonyms for explaining the words given in the meaning for a particular word. How else would you explain statement no 4 in the above list. Just go through it and you'd figure out that these guys have a jargon of their own which we need to identity in order to understand something.

 

But coming back to the main topic, we are here to discuss statement number 3. And that's what jargons are for us. Specialized language of a particular "organization/company" (comes under similar group/trade/profession). And we have to say this… All organizations have their own set of jargons. Regardless of whether any organization has any policies, vision, mission, strategy, work culture, ethics, moral and social responsibility or even employees, they sure do have a jargon of their own. Let us look at this statement at some depth.

 

Jargons, like roles and responsibilities, flows from top to bottom. 140 years ago some old guy (preferably the founder) must have uttered some god-forsaken word in some wretched clandestine meeting. That in turn were used in communication by the presentees in the meeting and then it percolates to lower levels until it becomes like daily need for the employees at large.

 

Secondly every organization has its own set of jargons. Regardless of whether you like them or not, regardless of whether you can do with them or not, regardless of whatever, you have to speak in that lingo to look like you are a part of that organization. And one of the primary responsibilities of an employee would be to get himself/herself accustomed to this jargon set.

 

For some, it would be un-utterables in public spaces, the generous doses of which would be jargons, and without which no statement would look complete. In such places, please avoid the uses of words like " Sorry I goofed up"… your appraisals are going to be pathetic. Instead stand up and say "I f&*#ed up big time" and see your appraisals rising at right angles. And this is no joke; we are speaking out of experience (though we never got appraised, because our expletives were always in local dialect and rather never made any impact on the HR)

 

For some, it would be usage of difficult words, when you could actually do with simpler alternatives. All along we thought Roster was a result of a spelling mistake with a cock (of the hen type) until someone told us that it was actually Shifts in which people work. It would be so simple to say "my shift timings are 1" instead of " my roster says 1" which sounds more like a mistaken cock drawing your schedule for you. But simplicity is something that people abhor, because they would like to complicate things for themselves so that they could prove that they are superior. So let them be at that…

 

Then there are jargons, which are of "tricks of the trade" sorts. Which means you have to be up-to-date with those to even be considered as a part of the trade. Words like " stretching", which we thought was a process of de-stressing or relaxing or exercising actually turned out to be spending more hours of work. And like stupid fools we were stuck up with old adages like " night maara re " or "aaj late tak baithega". Now since we are typing this during our work hours, and since we have lots of free time with us, we don't need to stretch. We'd just use up the unproductive office hours for this post ;)

 

And we are in the process of learning & learning more and more of them. Let us just elucidate the jargons that we have learnt. " Running around like a headless chicken"(We used to have chicken… always boneless… but never headless… so that was something new for us)… "non-issue" (Not an issue was anyday simpler… but this makes it sound so complicated and all)… " lets be candid"(we always thought CANDID was an anti-fungal cream) and lots of other words that currently don't come to our mind.

 

We'd be more than happy if you could share some of the jargons that you have in your organization (Plijj refrain from using jargons if you are working for some terrorist outfits… We'd rather stay away from a Blog Ban again)

 

Happy Independence Day… Jai Hind… Vande Mataram…

 

dhanyawaad…

10 comments:

The Comic Project said...

How about "giving a heads up" when you are about to post such interesting things, especially asking for jargon contributions? And before you post, you can "reconfirm" with us too.

Cloudy said...

LOL at 'stretching' :))))

And how about 'can we sit on it?' to discuss something...

PS: Check comments on your previous post, was a bit late :)

Sensorcaine said...

Ha! so if you 'night maroed' thinking up jargon with fellow bloggers, it would be a jargon jagran?

the pooh said...

tu phir CT gaya na? pata tha mujhe all this jargonizing topics haeyyyyyy

abhi said...

jai maharashtra

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Real "thanda one"....I have used all the mentioned jargons and never realised they were jargons...HAhah...But Roster was always used for the cabs, the transport roster and it didnt mean shift for us anyway! I am not sure if FTE is a jargon but during the initial days it was a pain for me to figure out wht the hell FTE or FTE's were as I would say I need atleast 2 people in my team and my maanager would always repsond with "Its not easy to get two FTE's so you have to balh blah" Then I figured out FTE is full time employee...He could have just said 2 guys or 2 more team-mates or wht ever!!! :)

iyer education said...

@TCP, i always thought giving heads had a completely different meaning... and i will reconfirm the same with you... isnt it? do you concur?

@Cloudy, can we sit on it sounds like we are in the hatching business... but if you like then we'd sit over anything :)

@Sensorcaine, you are hilarious lady... yes its jargon jaagran :)

@Winny, chammaila piyeli hai kya... mein navi mumbai mein aa gaya... NO CT HERE :P

@abhi, same to you :)

@scribz, so our vocab is all outdated and all haan... we are not upto the corporate standards and all haan... so you contribute to the DICTIONIYERY and add those words there :P

Kautilya said...

Speakin of Jargonz... un must b knowin what FUBAR means...

well.. u can b one heck of competetion 2 me.. when it comes to doin the same with ppls mind....

Sanjay said...

Any guesses what we mean when we say we are doing an "interlock meeting"

Your options are:
1) Discussing the merits and demerits of recent Godrej lock forums.
2) Coming up with ideas for a new product to be launched in the sleaze market.
3) All depts lock ourselves in a room and screw each other.

Surprisingly its # err.. sorry my HR guys might read this.

Our boss says "arnt we all feeling much better after having done this"

Cheers mates!!

iyer education said...

@kautilya, yup i know what FUBAR means and i am good at FUBARing ppl's minds... do you know what RAHUL & ATUL means (*takes pride in knowing a few acronymal jargons*)

@sanjay, where is the 4th option... i demand one... and the lock part cannot come until i select one option... so i take offence in this entire procedure ;)