Friday, August 11, 2006

Busiyer…

After years of penance in the VINDHYA mountains and since we have been hit by a sharp blinding light (of a train coming in the opposite direction), we have come to realize that there is something in life which is more difficult that being held up or being busy. And you guys were thinking that the most saddest state was being caught up in between something or being busy with something. Naah… No… Nahi… There is a situation that is more complicated than the ones stated above… It is the situation where a person is " TRYING TO LOOK BUSY" when he/she actually isn't… Are you surprised? The ones who aren't, we bet, have already gone through this phase of trying to look busy. And the ones who are, let us explain that to you.

 

Take this for example, you have been newly employed and are yet to be allotted a particular project. Now since you don't have anything (specific or unspecific alike) to do, you aren't discounted from coming to workplace. You definitely have to be present from {Begin Office Hours} to {End Office Hours}. Now in such a situation, you need to look like you are busy and have no time on your hand to the people around you… for the purpose of looking hardworking, diligent and many other corporate level adjectives that will look good on your yearly appraisals.

 

This would have been a easy task in the older days when you could have picked up a hundred files from a closet full of them and put them on your table and act like you go through a different file every day. But now since the file system is not widely available and has been replaced by computers it gets all the more difficult. All you can do is to keep staring into the computer whole day long albeit you are staring on different websites of humor, knowledge, songs, films, search engines and every other possible area of study except probably WORK. And the worst part is that things get repetitive. We mean, given a chance, how many times can you prefer look at the same " search dabba" of Google? So trying to look like all the above-mentioned adjectives in front of your superiors, colleagues and team members is a tough ask. Still sounds simple haan? Let us tell you what we do to look busy… and then probably you'd come to know how EXTREMELY DIFFICULT that is… Here we go…

 

 

Drink loads of water. The walk from the desk to the water dispenser and back alone takes 5-10 minutes. Also frequent water drinking equates to frequent loo breaks. We also take frequent coffee breaks. Frequent black coffee intakes also translate into loo breaks.   That's some amount of quality time invested we'd say ;).

 

Keep checking and re-checking old mails. But this, for us, doesn't make too much of a reading, because most of them are gaali galochfying us. And this also includes checking and rechecking of earlier comments, which makes us realize how badly we write and are still continuing to do so.

 

Using the same Gmail window to talk to people. Now since Gtalk is integrated with Gmail, we use the same window to khapaofy saner mortals like KJ , Kkusum , Winny – The Pooh & Scribz with brute force. (In case you didn't know brute force mixed with khapaoogiri is a lethal combination). We pray for the mental health of these mortals.

 

Type any crap on MS Word – Delete that crap – Type something new – Delete that crap… and the cycle continues… until something comes up that need not be deleted. And that something, my dear bunties and bublies, is what you get to read here. Yup Blog Posts… (Currently we are working on a mathematical relation between the amount of work one has and the ideas for blog posts. And till now we have found out a direct relationship between the two i.e. more the work, more the ideas and vice versa. Also stated as; more the free time available, lesser the ideas and vice versa.)

 

Visit bloglines and check for any new posts by any of our fellow bloggers. Sometimes there are updates, but most of the cases end up with no updates and cursing ourselves and our lucks for lack of updates on any fellow bloggers's blogs.

 

Humors ourselves… We don't need to visit any jokes sites like SantaBanta or Funtoosh. All we have to do is to logon to StatCounter and look for statistics of our blog. And you'd ask where is the humor in that? Actually when we find out details like the search keywords that make people land on this blog, the list cracks us up every single day. Mind you, everyday it has a different list, but every list is hilarious. Let us give you some snippets of today… " dps mms… suhaag raat… shayari dirty joke sms story… contraceptive malad… koon banega crorepati… abhishek bachan education"

 

Get intellectual for a moment and visit Wikipedia. And the moment the page is loaded; we spend the rest of the time figuring out what to look out for in Wikipedia. And since we have no particular interest as such in anything, we end up looking blankly at the main page and then return to Gmail or MS Word or whatever other application open.

 

Inspite of all of the above stated techniques, we still find ourselves in a situation where we would like to still look BUSIYER than what we currently are.   If you guys have any more ideas of how to look busier with just a computer, please feel free to contribute generously.

 

adios…

17 comments:

the pooh said...

abe oye u khapofy me..why dont u plan and write my lesson plans for the next year..so i dont have to type them up

infected said...

http://powermojo.blogspot.com/2006/08/busy-g-how-to-look-important-and-climb.html

For you, my love ...

Akshay said...

best part is this - there are 2 new people who have joined in new.. and both will be equally jobless and still try to prove that one is more busier than the other! working late and all - that must be one tuff job..

HP said...

aah..As you had said, the hardest thing in the world is to look busy when one actually has no work..

My Suggestions:

1) Restart the computer atleast thrice a day citing several reasons. And if the pc is a relic of Gandhiji's era, it will take ages to reboot. Quite effective use of time, I say

2) Go to the security and keep asking him to adjust the temperature. Allows you to rant against the admin guys too.

3) Start attending calls from bank loan/mobile reps.

Cheers,
HP

silverine said...

:)) This is what I have been doing for the past one week as it is a tiring job!! The Statcounter is too good, some of the stuff is hilarious LOL

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Wow, I have been victim to tht for many months and for me, I had juniors so I would collect them and chumma organise some Knowledge Transfer meetings in our team and cross teams and send everyone meeting invites via outlook ...Then I used to tell my soop not to chew ghutka nad also tht he will become impotent...He was cool...I would always answer the phone, thankfully I had so many people who would call me and then I would act like I am talking professional stuff by using a pencil and opening an excel sheet (old updated one) and keep pointing to tht so someone would think I am talking or explaining some figures to someone over the ohone when I reality I would be bitching big time...I also went around for chai, pani and loo...Mi God!!! Those days were fun but....Long lunch breaks and a stroll after one hour lunch for half an hour and also sitting on the lush green grass for 15 minutes and going to the gym n checking my weight post and pre eating lunch!!! I love those day...Iyero...Now I know why u chat with me....and the state of your mind when u do the gtalk too..:)

NightWatchmen said...

Well I am in that situation now though I am not exactly new in my job. For me what works best is go to Google Trends and enter search strings like "Anna Kournikova" and try to figure out where most searches have been done from and Google displays quite good statistics with bar graphs etc so that if your boss walks by you can always say you are eresearching something on the net.

By the way I discovered that the new librarian in my company is extraordinarily cute, so quite some time is spent there, though there also seem to be a huge number of new hires in the library!!!

IdeaSmith said...

Khee khee khee....thengyu saar for the most useful lesson I've had in a long time!

biju said...

well, if u've reached that point then you can easily walk around to your team member's desk and talk strategy. Even better call for meetings every half-a-day, so most of the time you are seen running to meetings. "talk to u later, have a meeting..."

Kautilya said...

send tonnes of mails to urself man...
from ur offfice id to ur personal Id.. and try sending it from differnt computers.. and come to ur system an dcheck.. who reached first... u or teh mail...

I used to do that in my previous combany...

try addressin ur colleagues.. as bob.. or better if u use DICK...

ask ur management for unisex loo's.. and nikalofy a morcha(mail thread) for that...

Why Am I said...

hahaha i am not alone...many more on the same boat!!..tried playing games for some time but tht is a lil dangerous...best part is the gtalk tho!!

iyer education said...

@winny, sorry... i dont spill out secrets... you go ahead and post them... prolly in poetic form... what say?

@alap, thengew vairy much saare... will try n implement all ur tips...

@akshay, i guess thats what we call as the "busier than thou" attitude

@HP, thanks a million dude, more tips for the coming week and they look very interesting :)

@silverine, i am most priviliged to be in the same club as you are... and now someone is looking for urmila wet saree on statcounter... what say?

@scribz, everybody goes thru them i guess... but u found out amazing techniques to make them pass by... thanks for sharing the info :P

@nightwatchmen, i will try google trends... and the library is closed... though we have good eye candies in office... i will try some eye candy today itself :)

@idea, dont mention it... just put it to use when it comes to it!!!

@biju, aah why didnt i think of meetings... they say meetings are places where you spend hours making minutes... i will now spend those hours, thanks to you :)

@kautilya, i'd prefer unisex jaccuzzis to unisex loos... and mailing ourselves? naah re... i can go and subscribe to some greetings or some stuff so that i keep getting automated mails... what say?

@why am i, games... aah i wish i cud play some FPS out here in office where i cud shoot my colleagues... but alas... not everything is possible naa... gtalk is always interesting :P

Cloudy said...

Here's how to keep busy - Rack your brains for games you played as a kid - something that not too many might have played. And send it to me, pleeeeeeeeeeeease?

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