Monday, June 19, 2006

Torture Titles…

It didn’t take the brains of Einstein to come to this conclusion. Even the non-existent brains of Iyer Education were enough to figure out after watching endless trailers and music videos that movie titles these days are aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh to say the least. We mean look at what we are being subject to on a daily basis (in between the hourly gap of daily football matches). Let us explore into some of the movie titles and do some post mortem (which is a wrong expression because some of the movies haven’t been released… but then who cares about anything on Iyerospace).


Firstly, it seems that the people of this generation need an interpretation for the one worded movie titles. We think that the new generation, that is de-generating from Hindi to English and the need to get them back to our roots (Bollywood) is what calls for titles like “Daag – The Fire” (Grammatical Mistake we say), “The Hero – Love Story Of A Spy” (what the hell is that?) and a lot of other movies that have decided to stay away from our mind right now. But if we apply the same principle to lets say old Big B movies, we’d have

Zanjeer – The Handcuffs
Laawaaris – The Orphan
Agnipath – The Fireway
Abhimaan – The Self Respect
Mrityudaata – The Bringer Of Death

and he (Big B) would probably take ‘agyaatvaas’ and finally take ‘sanyaas’ and stay away from Bollywood and stay there for good. Thank god we didn’t have translations earlier.


Secondly, there is this over-hyped-we-love-our-family-and-we-are-filthy-rich movie called “Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna”. We think the length of the movie title is directly proportional to the star cast. We also think that, if this is the trend, we may also see Karan Johar’s next movie will be called “Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Mein Khayal Aata Hai Ke Jaise Tujhko Banaya Gaya Hai Mere Liye Tu Ab Se Pehle Sitaaron Mein Bas Rahi Thi Kahin Tujhe Zameen Pe Bulaya Gaya Hai Mere Liye” (K is the keyword here). On the positive side, we can hope of extending the rights of the censor board to snip the name of the movie if they find it too long. And given a chance to snip the title of this movie, we would probably call it “Kabhi Naa” – See, this new title gives a kind of mystery to the movie. But all said and done, Karan Johar movie titles are equivalent to full fledged songs penned by Javed Akhtar or Gulzaar. He should be doing something about them. But we think short titles don’t work to his advantage. Let’s wait and watch.


But what takes the cake are the weird titles these days that use a mix of Hindi and English to make it sound more Hep. I cant recollect the older ones, but the ones doing rounds these days is called “Pyaar Ke Side Effects”. We don’t know the actual logic (or numerology) that has gone behind the title of this movie, but it sure provokes the movie maker within us to make a movie called “Sex Ke Special Effects” which will star ET & Jadoo where we'd get to see both of them doing steamy scenes where they make out with each other. What say? Any investors? 34 of you? Thats a good response... Now can we begin the bidding process?


After all of this torture, we think to ourselves, why the hell don’t they show football for 24 hours in a day? Pfft…

adios…

7 comments:

Why Am I said...

ok u football maniac..:P...but yea the movie titles are too funny...i dunno which one starte4d the trnd tho....DDLJ had the come fall in love tag...was tht the first??

Demi Goddezz said...

abe wah wah.. tu nahi hota tho bollywood ka kya hota...weise theek kaha hai ...they need to get more ceative with their titles...tu phikar na kar,,,when our movie launches duniya dekhti hi reh jayegii..kya bolta

Kautilya said...

“Sex Ke Special Effects”
now u r talking business...

d4u said...

Lol..the titles are hilarious!!

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Here come Iyer with a backpack of some new ideas!! Yes, the names indeed are weird..There is some movie i guess which has the words --- ka superhit formula....Also was thinking, they can also do movies like Pani- The water or Water- Pani!! Good one....the trend of taking old songs n making a movie name outta it too evident...After a long nam eis produced, the give it a nick name like K3G or DDLJ...these r old ones b ut sure the new ones too are gioven short name...Why come up with long names in the first place n then do a pet name with initials...Full day football hona hi tha! :)

Madhu said...

Another football fan......hmmmm

Coming to the movie trailers....too much yaar, I agree. And titles hilarious too. Soon ekta kapoor and Karan johar are going to run out of words in hindi starting from "K". Me thinks they will start "kk" like in "kkhusum" grrrrrrrr

"Khabhi alvida..." better be good.. casting is good...i like ab jr and rani and of course trademark shah rukh (sorry khan fans! but i think he is getting stereotype!!)

Aapka film idea bura nahi hai, lekin yeh batao...item number ke liye kise bulavoge? predator???

iyer education said...

~why am i~ i dont know what came first or what came last, but i seriously dont like the tag business... in films and blogs :)

~winny~ i am the SAVIYER for everyone in trouble... apna phillum mein BIRD ko hero banayega to hi we can go ahead with the project...

~koutilya~ you got it all wrong... body shopping (business) has nothing to do with sex... okay bad joke...

~d4u~ thengew :)

~scribz~ title itna pakaoo hai to picture kitna pakaooo hoga :)

~madhu~ LOL @ item number.. i will go with rakhi sawant for the item number... her natural looks are like special effects on some alien woman :)