Monday, May 22, 2006

Static Randomness…

Some random thoughts about the various states, the people and the lingo in those states, hence the title. But you will have to accept the fact that the title more sounds like Stephen Hawking's theory, which I will guarantee it is not. So if you are a nerd trying to understand galaxies and metaphysics and cosmic consciousness, please exit right away. For the others, please refer to the below stated rules before you begin the process of reading.

Rule No 1: Please do not read if you are weak hearted.

Rule No 2: Also do not read if you are strong hearted or else you will be weak hearted and Rule No 1 will be applicable.

  • Iyerospace have conducted a thoroughbred research on why lot many Tamilians are part of the IT industry? It is because of the fact that they use the word “super” more than anybody else in the world. Super machaan, Super padam (film), Super Star Rajnikaant et al are general usage of the word ‘Super’ in daily lingo. Now this “super()” is also happens to be a most used function (initializing function / default constructor to be more specific for the techies) in JAVA, which is a very hot technology these days. Now linking ‘Super’ to ‘super()’ we can deduce that Tamilians have greater probability of being successful in the IT sector.

  • Another surprising fact. All malayalee males have two names. One their original name (like Unnikrishnan, Mohanlal etc) and the other default name “Chetan”. Don’t believe me ask any malayalee woman and she will tell you that she calls every guy she knows, right from brother to husband to friend to boyfriend as her “Chetan(Chetan = Brother in mallu). We are sure the mallu kids will have, by default, the title of “Chota Chetan”. The above is another reason why the “Chota Chetan” was made in Malayalam.

  • Non-telugu ladiejj who have the knowledge of Hindi should not be offended when two Telugu guys are inviting each other in Telugu and the word “randi” is being used quite often. They are NOT calling you a prostitute, so please don’t be offended. “Randi” in Telugu means to “come over”. We have actually seen weird reactions of females in my college when two Telugu professors used to call upon each other so that they could travel together. We had to do the difficult task of explaining the above to ladiejj.

  • This again for the ladiejj. Please do not go to a Bong dentist. If you still want to, do understand the fact that when he says “Taang Upar Karo” he actually means “Tongue Upar Karo” with a Bong Accent. A lot of ladiejj have charged poor Bong Dentists with charges of ulterior sexual motives after they heard the line “Taang Upar Karo”. Leave the poor guy alone puhleez.

  • When you hear a guy from Delhi / Punjab using the word “Pancho” time and again, do understand that, that guy isn’t by any way referring to either the “Pandavas” or the characters of the serial “Hum Paanch”. When someone is using “Pancho” time and again you will have to reply with a “Macho” as both ‘Pancho’ and ‘Macho’ are short form of gaalis (Bh#$#$#od & Ma#$#$#od) respectively.


Our knowledge of states and their respective lingos are restricted to only 5. We had options in school you see, that’s why we decided to leave out the other states and their respective lingos and all. But I think this is enough crap for one post. So that’s it. Make full use of the above tips to understand/counter people from the above stated regions.

All the Best…

adios…

PS: If you have forgotten Rule No 1 & 2 by now, we suggest that you better get a checkup done just to be on the safer side ;)

30 comments:

The Comic Project said...

1st comment!!!!!!! Yes!! You know how this is played on TCP don't you :-)

Hilarious stuff mate...loved the mallu "chetan" ..but I like everything mallu..they are my favourite species in the world. The tamil "super" is the BIGGEST PJ I have heard and I can't stop laughing...and the punju "Pancho" is so apt. Brilliant.

d4u said...

Liked the super() one!!

Kautilya said...

The Bong Dentist remind me of something weird that happened with me... I am learning bangla now a days, my Bong neighbour threw her chappals @ me when I recited this poem,

"Shokaale Dekhi Shotho Shotho kaak
Shokaale Dekhi Shotho Shotho kaak
Fuck, ami taken abaack!"

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

"tamasha"--- Wel well....I just am thinking...Why do mal women call everyone "chetta" as in "bro", does the husband n bf relate to being a "bro" or is it a respect terminology....

I am glad I havent had to call "chetta"....

Super star is hilarious!!

HP said...

Cool One Mate :-)
btw, Really non-Gults do find it hard to keep a straight face when they two Gults saying that word..haha

Keep Bloggin!!!

Cheers,
HP

iyer education said...

~TCP~ yaaay, gold medal... i always manage to get only the "consolation/participation" certificate, tough fight for the last and second last position i gave... other than that i also love mallus... esp women... and what was with the long story about the treasury of titwala... it ended just like a night shyamalan movie... leaving the reader to decide for himself :P

~d4u~ :-)

~koutilya~ now explain the poem to me (not the last line definitely)

~scribz~ Chetta is become all old and all... so what do you call him? Beta? Super Shtaar Rajni is wonderful too ;)

~HP~ i have actually seen like innumerable incidents like that happening... and our duty is to EDUCATE... so thats what we do :)

KJ said...

an old joke here in UAE goes:-
what does it mean when a bong says
"hum aasman mein duniya bechta hoi"

email me ur answer.

:-)

Iyer, ur post dhammal as usual...

KJ

IdeaSmith said...

Sooper post, as always, machaan!

The Comic Project said...

especially mallu women huh? because they don't have a thick moustache? :-) yeah...sharp features. Always wanted to snag a mallu girl for myself, they'll look at you but they usually fall for guys of their community (mallu) or marry as per parents' choice (atleast that was the trend 15 years ago). I eventually ended up marrying an Iyer ;-)

iyer education said...

~kj~ its more difficult than the da vinci code... but i will try and crack... if not then i will become a crack in the process :P

~idea~ i forgot to stretch the ooooo ki maatra when i stated the super wala connection.. i will keep that in mind... thengew

~TCP~ let me just take the cat out of the bag, iyeropatni (to be) is a hardcore mallu... just like shobhanay (my fav mallu lady)... now this is an exception to "they usually marry someone in their community" isnt it :)

d4u said...

Nice template change:D!!

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Yup it is....Well, you r close- I call him "Kuttu", I guess it just sounds nice n baby like!! Best part is we call each other the same thing!! :) Silly nah

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hey...Your new design is super cool...Just like I am looking thru an university site or something...fundastic man!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

super template machi! super post also! ahhh.....orey the 'supers' wonly....hee hee...:)

*from a member of the PWOP.*

:P

iyer education said...

~d4u~ i keep changing the clothes of this blog every now and then... cant afford costly deodorants and all naa ;)

~scribz~ kuttu is cute? can i borrow it or is it copyrighted or somethin like that... and this new design more resembles the old leaves on which things were written... another symbol for education we might say!!

~punkster~ secret member PWOP, you are one SHOOOOOPER (and living example) to our super() theory... thengew very much :P

Suji said...

super(post)

Madhu said...

Hilarious stuff! Still laughing over the Bong "Taang"!!! Nice post.

abhi said...

stop using that 'phuleez' term man .. makes u sound like a short nutcrackled sissy chik

use 'plij' ... thats more u

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hihihihi.....YOu serious..It is cute...People give us dirty looks as they have no clue why we cal each other tht word, tht specific word..You can take it but everytime remember it is anoriginal creation of Scribblez and if anyone else wants to take it you shall refuse, that is if they r kind enough to ask....:)

the wannabe indian punkster said...

but yuvar hannar, we are eggzample of number 1, but we do not work for IT industry. :(

aha. another fallacy in otherwise sooooper post:P

*from a high-ranking PWOP member*

tee-hee.

:-)

faith said...

hey me 1st time here came via scribblez blog.. interesting blog :)
loll liked first one..

Why Am I said...

crap...was gonna say super template as soon as i saw it...I thot u just proved us rt...and then i saw the IT thing...so me is joing hands with punkster and mes saying "teeheheheheteehee"...:)

Why Am I said...

oh and i forgot to add...a bong i know keeps saying" i saw bards, i shot bards"....now if ur tam and galeej u'll know how it sounds when its said in front of the locals!!

iyer education said...

~suji~ mallu rite? thengew very much :)

~madhu~ i didnt want women to make moral judgements against bong dentists... education is the key here on this blog...

~abhi~ i will use it... i am a big fan of michelle (FULL HOUSE)... and i have also decided to pronounce ice-cream as OUS CREAM :P

~scribz~ want to enter into some royalty / NDA contract regarding usage of the word kuttu?

~punkster~ you are getting it all wrong here... at iyerospace you are supposed to be looking for posts in between fallacies and not the otherway round... and stop scaring me with your membership card of PWOP :P

~faith~ it generally happens that way... the start is good and the rest of the post just falls apart :)...

~why am i~ let me get this straight... you were about to say great template and punkster's comment made it look bad? is it something like that? PWOP members should be disallowed so that my temblate doesnt look bad :P

~why am i(2)~i know only hindi gaalis and slang hence the delli wala pancho & macho... now pliss to educate about 'bards' in tamil...

Why Am I said...

ok eskiss me eone phar this dirrty meanings - badd (rhymes with the tam maddu - cow) means a pimp...now neone else..correct me if i am wrong...

Why Am I said...

@iyer (1) - no deaarr ur temblate cannot look baadd (no reference to word explained above) whether i say super not not...

Dodo said...

You're one funny dude.. or is it Iy'er one funny dude!
Anyway, when I was in like V std two moms of my classmates- one Gult mom and one Rajasthani mom had a big fight over "randi" :0
You must definitely be knowing about the Sardar time: Bra-Panties ;) (Baarah Painthies=12:30)

iyer education said...

~why am i~ thengew for the explanation and the temblate liking...

~dodo~ isnt dodo how bongs prounounce dada? hehe... thengew vairy much... and i know the bra panties thingy... hilarious i say :)

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Oh..On second thought, I have to ask my partner too....Why do zi keep thinking twice....royalty sounds good, royal name and cash too...:) Good Weekend

Kishan said...

Hilarious post man!!!!!
I am going to forward this to my friends...