Friday, May 19, 2006

The RR Varma Code…

Now there is this movie, “The Da Vinci Code” that is creating a lot of communal problems with its release. We at Iyerospace believe in “Freedom of Expression” but at the same time we also understand the religious sentiments that are hurt by some over the top expressions expressed with too much freedom. Not that we are making any kind of moral / ethical judgment on the upcoming movie or its release. Standing on neutral grounds has always been our style. We don’t take sides (We prefer to be centre stage).

Jokes apart (and moving onto other jokes), we at Iyerospace have decided to make a movie for the ones who will take “The Da Vinci Code” (DVC) to heart or decide to take it too personally. It is called, as you might have rightly guessed by now, “The RR Varma Code” (RVC). Sounds interesting right? Now let’s dig into the details.

Disclaimer: We are proud to announce that RVC would be completely inspired on the movie DVC and we have full-fledgedly internalized all parts/aspects/plots of DVC into RVC. Hence any form of co-incidence is expected and bound to happen. And pardon the spellings, the French are very bad at naming themselves.

  • Just as DVC is based on a world renowned painter Leonardo Da Vinci and the mysterious messages that he conveyed through his paintings, RVC is based on "world famous in south-india" painter Raja Ravi Varma (hence RR Varma and not because of Ramgopal Varma, clear hai???) and the inscrutable messages that he left on his paintings.

  • The central characters in DVC are called Robert Langdon & Sophie Neveau (pardon the mishtakes in esspelling, we are like that only). The main characters in DVC will be named as Rangarajan Lakshmanan & Subbalakshmi Nagarajan. (Initials & south-indianisms are very important to the essence of the characters). And not to mention, both the characters belong to the prestigious Iyer & Iyengar lineage respectively.

  • DVC starts with a mysterious death of a Jaques Sauniere, the chief curator of a museum. RVC would start with the death of Jagadishan Suryanarayanan a chief namboodiri of a famous temple in Kerala.

  • The dead curator leaves clues in the form of Da Vinci’s innumerable paintings and the hidden truths in them. The dead namboodiri leaves clues on a trail of banana leaves (don’t confuse between the leaves [verb] and the leaves [noun]) and point them to RR Varma’s paintings that has some strange things in the reckoning.

  • The story of DVC unfolds and figures out the connection between the curator and a secret society called “The Priory of Sion” and strangely Da Vinci, at some point, was a part of this society. RVC establishes a link between the namboodiri and a secret society called “The Treasury of Titwala” and the fact that RR Varma, at some point in time, was a part of this society. (For Non-Mumbaiites, Sion and Titwala happen to be two suburbs in and the outskirts of Mumbai. And for God’s sake, Titwala isn’t a transvestite by any chance)

  • The Priory of Sion”, in DVC, is supposedly the bearer of the secret of the fact that Jesus was married and had a lineage. “The Treasury Of Titwala” on the other hand allegedly has an excel sheet containing the names of all the 16,008 wives of Lord Krishna and another database that claims to have the names of the kids of each of these 16,008 wives, which essentially means that about half of south India are the blood relatives of Krishna. (Now don’t ask us stupid questions like how can an age old secret society work with Excel and Database. Such questions will be ignored).

  • The search by the main characters in DVC eventually happens for the “Holy Grail”. The quest by the main characters in RVC happens for the “Holy Flute” that the lord used to play and lure each and every of the 16,008 ladies in his life.

This is all that we can reveal at this point in time. You see this movie is a thrilling suspense and we don’t want to kill the fun by revealing everything at this point in time. And also because we are sure that if everything is revealed here, then no one’s going to watch the movie. What say? Dont have to, we already know it… so we will abruptly end it here so that you can go and personally watch the movie. You can watch either of DVC or RVC. We have mutually exclusive markets here.


PS:

This post was just made in pure humour and we expect people to take it in a good spirit. We equally respect Krishna & Jesus and we believe they are way too noble to be affected by a lil post like this.

Words of Wisdom: (Pretty Rare here)

  • All gods are unaffected by any & all kinds of these expressions. It is US who decide if something is right or wrong for them? Are we powerful enough to make moral judgments for HIM, the ALMIGHTY? We DON’T THINK SO…

  • FAITH is very important in life. And if anybody’s faith is hurt by any/every such form of expression, we are sure that it wasn’t faith at all at the first place. And faith doesn’t require expression of any form/medium (audio, visual, newspaper et al) to express itself.

14 comments:

abhi said...

:)

like the postscript part .. if only the rest of conflict hungry world understood it!

Why Am I said...

well the RR VErma code sounds more believable actually!..and yea the gods are too smart to actually be woried about some book or movie being made...plus i dont understnd why ban a movie that almost neone who can read has already read (the book)

Kautilya said...

"(For Non-Mumbaiites, Sion and Titwala happen to be two suburbs in and the outskirts of Mumbai. And for God’s sake, Titwala isn’t a transvestite by any chance)"
too gud man... pramaadham....
ROTFL..... ROTFL.....

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Your words of wisdome are so smart and really everyone got to read this and realise the difference between movie,religion, faith and God....Maybe 2 of the above said are similar for many people and I am just using synonyms....

Brilliant RVC buddy....I need a coupla tickets..First day first show...Best seats also..Can yo uarrange for tht...

Maybe this is good for yout smart phones too....I will buy this movie for the smart phone...

:) :) Good weekend!!

Cloudy said...

Nice read, as always :) Serious ending though.... keeping various sensibilities in mind? Now, that's not like iyero, is it? I wish you would start a "Spoof Factory" and totally rip apart everything you see :-)

But only after a ban on bans has been imposed....

Demi Goddezz said...

ah words of the wise man ...loved the post...religion is perception..and since no one man perceives like another..no one man also believes like another...

Is this the movie we are making.. so i should start writing the songs and also get the music ready ..kya bolta?

iyer education said...

~abhi~ amen bro...

~why am i~ i have no clue... and the worst part is that the ones who want the ban on the movie have had a special screening for them... isnt that WIERDER?

~kautilya~ :)

~scribz~ i will arrange for the best seats... right next to the projector... you can have as many tickets as you want... its STANDING ONLY...

~cloudy~ i have already decided that my spoof factory will be called "THE FLUTE" and our tagline would be... "NAA RAHEGA BANS, NAA BAJEGI BAANSRI"

~winny~ always ready to write songs and lyrics haan... i am sure about the latter... okay you can start doing it, but please to fund $2M to start the pre-production phase here :P

Cloudy said...

LOL @ tagline :D

the wannabe indian punkster said...

but the version of Krishna-Avatar I read stated that Lord Krishna had 16,024 wives!

Why are you discriminating against the remaining 16 wives?

This is blasphemy!I am going to starve myself.....until you correct that fallacy in your post.

*giggles uncontrollably*

:D

iyer education said...

~cloudy~ :D

~punkster~ 16,024... hmmm... so you are the member of the other secret society "PUNKSTERS OF PALAKKAD"... and you wanna go one up with "TREASURY OF TITWALA" at any given opportunity and this seems just the right kind of time to hit the hot iron with the '16 wives' ka rod... :P

Secret Angel 007 said...

Wow @WoW2. Amazing stuff Iyer.. I think the vaadhyars will frown upon the intercaste cast! Also, I thought Krishna was from Mathura :p

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Aha. My cover has been blown.

And get your facts straight O' TREASURY OF TITWALA member.

I dont belong to PUNKSTERS OF PALAKKAD, I belong to the PUNKSTER-WOMEN OF PALAKKAD.

yees vee are ladies wonly.

and wee represent the 16 forgotten ones.

so how about changing that fallacious number, 16,008 to the right number of 16,024....for starters?

:P:P:P

iyer education said...

~secret angel 007~ firstly vadhyars have their own reservations and we dont always subscribe to them and secondly mathura down south is also known as 'madurai' so lets just keep that secret (angel 007) for now :P

~punkster~ okay okay 16,024... and is there a strictly feminist secret society as well? i mean isnt that supposed to be an OXYMORON... females and secrets dont go hand in hand :P

The Comic Project said...

Do you know that Javagal Srinath is affectionately known as "Titwala ka ghoda"? anyway...Treasury of titwala is cool..this is how you find it..
1. You get out of the rickshaw and somehow manage to shrug off a 100 vendors until you find a shop that is 15 meters from the temple
(The only purpose of finding this shop being you dont walk for 30 meters without chappals)
2. You deposit the chappal, pick up the things that will help you in the treasure hunt - modaks, the white sugar thingies, 1 full nariyal, 1 phoolon ka haar
3. Put all this on a plate and raise your hands high above your head so that enterprising kids do not increase the weight of your plate by forcing "durva" onto it
4. You wash your feet - very important
5. Then you walk into the temple from the new (relatively) access mechanism that manages to hold 400 people in a queue.
6. You enter the "bhagwan gully" that leads from the access room to the area where the maharaja of titwala is virajman
7. You hand over the plate to the red dhoti-ed bodyguard who accepts the thali, picks up the nariyal and quietly exchanges it for a broken one
If you thought this was an adventure...YOUR QUEST STARTS NOW

8. You quickly exit this part of the temple and go out, saying hello to Nandi bail and touching his head and tail..that's the first signal to the treasure that someone is looking for it but the treasure doesnt know it
9. You move on to the tiny shiv mandir and pray there..the broken nariyal is the sign that something is up
10. You exit the temple and rush to the shop to pick up your chappals, pay the shopkeeper and run to your waiting rickshaw and ask him "Agli train kab hai". He says "10 minute me.." .. You say "Jaldi karo"
11. He waits for 2 more seats but you tell him, "paise main doonga..jaldi chalo"
12. You reach the station and catch the train just in time or you would have to wait for another 30 minutes!!!!!

If you thought this was about a treasure hunt, no..it's not..it's about catching a train..getting to titwala and meeting the king of titwala and rushing back to catch the train and doing all this in optimum time

Kya bakwaas hai yeh!!!