Saturday, May 06, 2006

iMail

Oh puhleeeez… this post is not about us (I, Iyer, Iyest) proclaiming that we are all males… don’t read it that way… we definitely are males and we don’t need to proclaim it… Neither is it about any new add-on / extension to the iPod. We are not too rich to be owning an iPod. Not at least now.

This is regarding a new service that is being jointly started by us. Now this service is still at its nascent stages, if you let us explain, for us, nascent means on paper (or MS Word). Now when we say it’s on paper, it technically doesn’t mean that it’s already on paper. It means that it will be on paper as and when we continue typing this.

As you must have guessed it, if at all you have, this is a new & wonderful mailing service designed by us. The ‘i’ here in the iMail service should technically be standing for ‘Iyer’ but for all practical reasons (read it as to prevent eruption of communal riots) we have decided to call it ‘Iyer’. So if Gmail is Google Mail, then iMail is Iyer Mail. Oh let us mention beforehand, these two have nothing in common. We are just inspired by Google (Who is not?).

iMail is designed taking into consideration the daily wants of the south Indian communities at large. The so called ‘end user requirements’ are very complex in nature and are not satisfied by any of the current email service providers, free or paid. Hence iMail is an example of an opportunity that is waiting to be exploited which is being successfully done by us. (We might just ask Michael Porter / Stephen Hawking to write a management / scientific theory on the same).

A natural progression to the write up would be to understand and delve into the features of iMail. So without any further ado, let’s look into the same.



Multilanguage: Mails can be sent and received in popular south Indian languages like Tamil, Malayalam, Telugu, Kannada etc. On the basis of popular demand from the giant south Indian IT parade, mails can be also sent in foreign languages like C, Java and Cobol etc.


Advanced Personal Information: Apart from the clichéd information like Name, DOB, Gender etc iMail will also store Advance personal information like Gotra & Nakshatra. These details can be further used for personalized kundli matching between members in case any of the members decide to tie the knot.


Default Contact List: All email accounts with iMail will have a default contact list with them which includes contacts of the all important vaadyaars, namboodiris, cooks, astrologers et al. These contacts would be, for the owners, sponsored contact links that will provide us with revenue to be on the default contact list. So all your cooks and astrologers are just a couple of keystrokes away from you.


Almanac - Panchangam: No more storing of emails as per English calendar. Nah… Illai… No… All the details will be stored as per the Hindu calendar. All the tidhi,vara, naksatra, yoga and, karana will be displayed to the user thus keeping the tradition alive. Special features included here would be in the form of
  1. The user has to only enter his / her date of birth (as per English calendar) and the calendar calculates the hindu calendar birthday year after year. So no more going back to elders to get your hindu calendar birthday.

  2. Important dates like amavasya et al will be color coded in the calendar and timely reminders of the same would be sent to the users to remind them of such dates.


Pooja Corner: (Arey baba, it is not about finding pooja in a corner or trying to corner pooja)Links to popular shlokas, mantras & bhajans will be available to the user, which can be used by the user at his/her discretion. A natural progression to these would be an e-Pooja corner where the user would be able to perform various forms of poojas online. This will please all the maamas, maamis and the new order tech savvy bandwagon alike.


Personalised Warnings: All those “Warning!!! Your mailbox is 98% full” are a passé. We provide 10GB of space for each email id. But does that mean we are off warnings? Naah… Warnings are our USP. The users will be warned of the dire consequences if they are mailing during the inauspicious ‘Rahu Kalam’. Gulika Kalam and Yama Gandam are natural extensions of the inauspicious time zones to be added to the warning section.



We think these are enough features for us to take this piece of document to some well known (preferable south Indian) venture capitalist and show them this “brilliant(alright, you can object) piece of business plan and get around $30 Million as initial capital investment for this project. What say?

Will keep you guys informed about the developments in the project…

adios…

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

:D

:DD

:DDD

:DDDD

thanks for ur help the other day...

have a nice weekend...

KJ

silverine said...

Best of luck for the iyer mail service :)

Why Am I said...

"this post is not about us (I, Iyer, Iyest) proclaiming that we are all males…"...only males..comeone now ur being biased:P..wht happens to us females....

hey u cud also have horoscope mathing/alliance fixing..and suprabatham playing if u open ur mail box in the morning....

Why Am I said...

sorry i kinda skipped the gotra/nakshatra/kundly thingy:P...hence ignore the comment:P...(sheepish grin)

Sandy said...

I , Iyer, Iyest?

I thought it was I , Iyer, Iyengar :D

IdeaSmith said...

The 'probe-leym' as I see it saar, is that any user of Imail will only mail other users in his/her group (read: state, community, caste, sub-caste, village etc). How about Igroups?

iyer education said...

kj: you get a free iMail account for being the first one to comment ;)

silverine: thengew

why am i: it was iMail, the body double of iMale... do you still want females to be included?

sandy: i, iyer, iyengar is cliched ;)

idea: iGroups, iCalendar, iShopping et al are all in the pipeline... now iPakaoing hence iLeaving ;)

Cloudy said...

"Adv personal info" and "rahu kala warning" - Precious! :)

Secret Angel 007 said...

You know, if it were Iyengar Mail, we could have built in games like "trace the thenkol" where you tell them the names of your great grand parent's half brother's first wife's second kid and it'll tell you exactly how you're related to all your contacts.. Whether the cook decides to give u a discount or charge you more on that basis is really upto him.

Why Am I said...

ok!...maybenot:)

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Nalla-irika ( read in Tamil or broken Tamil)....This will be one comprehensive thing...I back u when u say u r going to a VC for this idea...U r integrating hindu calender, poojas, horoscopes and wht not.....Amazing product idea I say!!!!!! BTW someone is looking for a bride, Iyer lady--- u know anyine...Lemme kno :) :)

HP said...

@Iyer,

When is this mail service being opened to the public or is this by invitation only??

btw, a funny post(needless to say) :-)

now iPakaoing hence iLeaving ;) LOL

Seriously, these features would be included in some of the future services??

Cheers,
HP

iyer education said...

~cloudy~ invented games can be linked on this as add on services... can we start the negotiation process?

~secret angel 007~ let us start with a simple prototype of iyer and then you can do a business study of iyengars and we can later implement the same :D

~why am i~ :-)

~scribblez~ i was not serious about the VC thing... i was also looking for a mallu lady... but you never answered and now someone's looking for an iyer lady and you are seeking professional help? whatever happened to good turns and all... ;)

~HP~ you will receive a free copy of it & you can invite other members provided you can provide exact details of their raashi and nakshatra ;)... iPakaoing and iLeaving are services "exclusively" for the administrators (us) :D

Morpheus said...

Hey this is bennet from google..yup yup...the Mallu ...

Iyer saab..I think its a fantastic idea to approach a venture capitalist and make iMail a viable product for all of us from the south..But who do we have any Southie who would take that kinda chance with a newbie??
But since we would only want "our" people to involved in this venture, I say we should use this chance to add some honorary members to our ilk. Lets start with the greatest Venture Capitalist of all times, the top gun at Berkshire Hathaway, Warren Buffett himself. Lets honor him with the Order of the Iyer Empire after which he can be called Siyer Warren Buffett...This would take down two kurvi's with one kal...We can approach him to invest since he'd be an honorary Iyer and he'd be glad to invest in any venture promoted by people who endowed him with iyest honor ever...

iyer education said...

~morpheus~ fullto dhammal man...

but we have a slight problem with the choice of your VC... the name itself beats the entire idea... buffet (dinner) is not our style you see... let us find some VC whose name has "elai" (banana leaf) inscribed somewhere... thats more of our style :-D

Keshi said...

lol at iyerMail!

can we make it eye-mail? ;-)

Keshi.

Kusum Rohra said...

Do non-iyers get this service too? but we will need a detailed explanation of all the sholokas, mantras et al.

Rahu Kalam reminds me how once a friends mom didn't let us leave for our exams in the final year as it was rahu kalam, I was so damn freaked thinking I would be late :)

iyer education said...

~keshi~ the name cant be changed now... we have already applied for the patent for iMail... :)

~kusum~ you are going to be a mrs iyer so you automatically wud be eligible for it... and the links for shlokas and mantras will be there, studying them is your lookout (remember the horse and water ka misaal)...

Anonymous said...

HI this is nandini from Google. I remember an instance of rahu kalam. The day I was supposed to join Google, one fine Monday, my mom called me to tell me that rahu kalam was from 7.30 to 9 in the morning...and I realized that my cab would come at 8.30! I refused to oblige..and my mom wanted me to go late on the first day of office!! She said..there must be Tamilians in office and they will understand what this is and why we do it...Of course i did not do that...but was woken up rather early at 6 so that am ready by 7 and I was asked rather instructed to wait outside the guest house and not sit inside waiting for the cab!! I did this only to hear my room mate who locked herself in the bathroom after having conveniently woken up at 8 am scream for help because the bathroom door had jammed! I ran in to help her out...only to get back at 8.30 to get the cab...defying all possible rahu kalam rules. To date, every time i am praised in office and i tell my mom that..she attributes it to the fact that i followed rahukalam on the first day of office!!!

iyer education said...

~nandini~ so you telling me that if at all you have an id on iMail you dont want warning during 'Rahu Kalam'? good idea... we will try and leave the warnings to the users to decide for themselves :)

J said...

this looks like iressitible forward material to iyers from iyers. Can i? May i? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

infected said...

Iyer,

I seriously think this is a good idea.

Do you really need 30 Mil in funding? Can we do a proper cost analysis here?

Please reply by email.

Alap

iyer education said...

~j~ you can fwd it to them provided none of them are VC's who are ready to invest in these ideas :)

~infected~ will talk to you offline :)

abhi said...

Iyer, there can never be a Iyer Mailing service minus the delete button/service-addon.

How could you do this to yourself?
You have shamed yourself with this act.

Now get that functionality added before i kick your butt (and make a paid service out of it)