Monday, April 24, 2006

Iyer Dictionary... A-Z

First & foremost, we would like to express our tons/quintals of gratitude to Alap & Abhijit who inspired us to write this post. Now that we have done the preliminary thanking business, we would get down to the real business right away, which happens to be writing the rest of this post.

This is another piece of the jigsaw puzzle of the new world order discussed here. This time around this happens to be your “Quick Reference Lookup” guide for you to understand the lingo of the “Planet Of The Appas”. A lot of these words are not currently appearing in the oxford dictionary, webster’s dictionary or even dictionary.com. But sooner or later they will be a part of all the three dictionaries and that is a “pakka vaada” from all of us at Iyerospace. Presenting to you “Sample Iyer Quick Reference Lookup Guide”. (Memorize the words in case you need to. You may need them at a later stage in life. For the convenience of the readers, the words are arranged in chronological order.)

{A-D}

Attiyer: This denotes the “clothes that people are wearing”. By default the values for attiyer would be “dhotis & silk sarees”. In case anything in particular needs to be described, it could be done with the help of proper adjectives. Eg. Formal Attiyer, Casual Attiyer, Fancy Attiyer etc.

Desiyer: This denotes the “strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen”. The default value for this would be the desiyer to have Idli/Dosa/Wada with Chutney and/or sambhar. Other desiyers can be described using the required adjectives like lusty desiyers, ambitious desiyers etc. (Warning: Not to be confused with Desi Iyers living abroad)


{E-H}

Empiyer: “A large group of states/commercial organizations ruled/under the control of a single monarch/person”. By default, the princely states/businesses of Kerala & Tamil Nadu can be expressed using this word without any adjectives. This word empiyer can be then be preceded by words like Reliance, British etc to provide meaningful meanings to those states/businesses.

Fiyer: One amongst the many meanings of the word Fiyer (other being something that burns) would be “passionate emotion or enthusiasm”. By default, it would cover the emotions and enthusiasms of all Iyer’s, Menon’s, Nair’s, Kutty’s and all other castes and sub-castes stated in the New World Constitution as “belonging to Madras & Kerala”. You can diversify the usage of fiyer by using nouns like belly, Bengali or Bengali belly et al.

{I-L}

Insinceiyer: “Saying or doing things that one does not mean”. By default, this would apply to all the castes and sub-castes stated in the New World Constitution as “Not Belonging to Madras or Kerala”. Otherwise this word can be used as an adjective like insinceiyer Iyer, insinceiyer menon etc.

Livewiyer: “An alert, active, or aggressive person”. The antonym of this word that would be specifically reserved for us and nobody else. Other than that, performances, performers, cricket players etc can all be adorned with this adjective. (And they will be charged for the using the antonym… hehe)

{M-P}

Millionair/Millioniyer: “A person whose wealth is estimated at a million or more”. (Wealth for calculation sake would be coconuts in this case). This is a freeware word, so to speak, which means, regardless of whichever community the person belongs to, as long as he/she has more than a million coconuts, he/she will be termed as a millionair/millioniyer.

Priyerity: “Something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives”. Would by default mean the importance given to all the people stated in the New World Constitution as “Belonging to Madras or Kerala”. Other than that, the usage of the same for inanimate objects is limitless and depends upon the vocabulary of the user to priyeritize the usage of this word.

{Q-T}

Retiyer: “To withdraw from one's position or occupation : conclude one's working or professional career”. The age for retiyering would be 60 and any person regardless or caste, gender or creed would be termed as a retiyeree. (This is because ‘pensioners’, which was actively used in the erstwhile era, sounds very rude and demeaning)

Satiyer: “A literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn”. This would be the most used expression form used by people stated in the New World Constitution as “Belonging to Madras or Kerala” to make fun of work done by the other people. (Only bird will be an exception to this rule and will be freely allowed to use satiyer provided he blogs every week)

{U-Z}

Umpiyer: “An official in a sport who rules on plays”. All the officials on all sports will be universally called umpiyers. No more referees or any other officials on any sport. It’s just umpiyers across the board. Right from the first till the fourth. Umpiyers all the way…

Vampiyer: “The reanimated body of a dead person believed to come from the grave at night and suck the blood of persons asleep”. All ghosts, chudails, dayans, bhoots will now be universally termed as vampiyers. This is done keeping in view the complexity involved with classifying the dead in the erstwhile era. This again will be a freeware word, so to speak.


That my friends, was a sneak peek into the quick reference look up guide. More words will be added to this list by our expert panel of members who are currently busy reading “Rapidex English Speaking Course – Learn English in 30 Days” and are in their 8th day of reading. So we estimate another 22 days of reading and then another 3 days of compilation and we should be out with the alpha version of the book before rainfalls. (Otherwise the book will be wet no!!!)

adios…

PS1: I don’t mean to demean any other caste/sub-caste or creed and this thing has been done in nothing but pure humour. So all you non-madrasis/non-mallus can just read it, have fun and have a good day. If you want to take to heart, please do it but at your own risk.

PS2: If you still didn’t get PS1, try re-reading it and keep reading it until you understand it… till then… happy looping…

27 comments:

abhi said...

i likes ps2

Demi Goddezz said...

To the almighty Iyer: Tu paagal ho gaya..tera kuch nahi hoga... i have to call u and bakofy gaalis....

ur dictionary is bindaas .. I will buy first copy when its published..for free of course

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

He HAW He HAW!!!! Waiting for the dictionary to get more voloumnous u kno.....! :)

abhi said...

the title shudav been
DictionIyery A-Z

AJ said...

hehehe man Ive been LOOKIN for someone to keep the southie flag flyin..thous is ower saalvaation SAAR!! :) Im a Nair not an Iyer but hey its all "sauth indians" aint it ;)

just to add to the vocabulary.. :

Debonair, diyer, pliyer (er..wait a min thats a real word aint it..??) oh well will keep u updated if n when I can think of somethin..till then..great job machaa :)

iyer education said...

abhi: ps3 is on its way...

winny: please find gaalis that have 'iyer' camouflaged in them... i can include those in the dictionary...

scrib/winny: i will personally autograph a copy and give it to you guys... free of cost...

abhi: good idea... will copyright and patent the dictioniyery ;)

AJ: good good keep going... words words... i want more words? do you want to join the team of lazy researchers for this dictioniyery?

Bird said...

Miseiyery: What i go through after i read some posts

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Debbs : Iyer is so generous nah...we get an autographed book...We can show off with tht to the alikes of Iyer

Iyer: Thangu. Yippie :)

iyer education said...

bird: i hope you didnt have to go through miseiyery on any of the posts on this blog... it is a great word though... you can use your spare time to contribute generously (without any fee) to this dictioniyery :)

scrib: please do not mention it... just tell me something new ;)

The Comic Project said...

Once again..brilliant..this ought to go on the TCP Bloghop

Naina said...

ROFL.

This is the best ever.

Heres one for you:

What are the three degrees of Tamil egos?

I, Iyer, Iyengar

*grin*

Cloudy said...

:D Nice fun!

I was just going to say "I, Iyer, Iyengar" when I realised TCP beat me to it...

IdeaSmith said...

LOL Iyer, you put us southies into Diyer straits! No one can write a funny ethnic post like you do.

iyer education said...

TCP: honour to go onto TCP bloghop :)

Naina: for me, its I, IYER, IYEST ;)

cloudy: naina beat you to it not TCP... and again its I, IYER, IYEST ;)

idea: ethnically funny... whats that... is it like a joker dressed in dhoti and white shirt? hehe

Anonymous said...

y the hell did i buy a barrons'?

anyway.. in mumbai now.. wondering wat 2 do.!

LOrd of all things said...

the above is me

iyer education said...

lord: schizophrenia aa? commenting under two heads and all haan? the best thing that you could do in mumbai is travel by viral local from ccg to virar and back and forth... and that too during peak hours... trust me its fun :)

Cloudy said...

Oh right! It was Naina, not TCP. I have aliyernment issues.... ugh.. I know, bad one.

PS: No, it's still 'I, Iyer, Iyengar' ;-)

d4u said...

Awesome!! Really kool!!

iyer education said...

cloudy: good one... you want to join the gang to make more iyer words... and i give up... its i, iyer, iyengar :D

d4u: thengew!!!

HP said...

The Dictionary will definitely prove useful to our new junta!!

Wish you more success to bring this new world order quickly !

Cheers,
HP

MC said...

i landed here in crossfiyer,
but enjoyed reading it, siyer,
your thoughts, i really admiyer,
shall be back for more satiyer

:)

excellent. laughed non-stop!

dunno said...

clever. too clever i say! when does an iyer get time to actually come up with entertaining hogwash of such calibre!?! still gettin used to movin around in the blogger world, i think i need a GPS! anyway, back to u. i always thought iyer boys were mind "bogglingly" boring. i throughly enjoyed reading what ur mind has created. maybe it was funnier for me coz i'm a friggin iyer too! ciao

iyer education said...

HP: i am going to have a special section called "benefits of lungi" section in the dictioniyery and you are going to be the proud contributor to that section :)

mind curry: you can write excellent poiyertries... care to sign a non "kavya vishwanathan" contract with me and my publishers ;)

dunno: welcome fellow 'friggin' iyer... i'd say all iyers are bright minds... but most of them are hidden behind the "three lines" drawn all over their bodies... it just takes some realisation to get the brightness out and thats what iyerospace is here for... oh and welcome to blogworld :D

Secret Angel 007 said...

I errr am speechless! This post is fiyer and lovely!

Snehal said...

I think u missed Pheno-Menon

iyer education said...

secret angel 007: speechless!!! u sure ur alive after reading this post ?

snehal: keyword is "iyer"... though i used "nair" more as an exception to the rule ;)