Monday, March 27, 2006

Weekend Lessons!!!

For all those who think weekends are all cooey-dooey and all fun, please close this window right away and surf something more interesting, because what is going to come up is not something you are going to like. (As if you have things that you can like around here… anyways that is not the point of contention… is it?)

The weekend dated 25th Mar 06 – 26th Mar 06 (I want to exaggeratedly make it sound like a year or so) was one of the worstest weekends ever spent. And the worst part of it was I spent learning a lot of things. How do I explain it to you guys how I hate learning? I prefer to live my life in ignorance for ignorance is bliss and learning just plainly sucks. By the end of Sunday evening I was so bored to death that I am driven to research on a “timed sleeping pill” which I would pop on Friday night and the effects of which would ward off on a Monday morning.

Okay I make it sound very bad, but there were good moments too, but what significance is a 2 hour drive followed by an hour of meeting up with friends compared to the slow and timed death of around 40 hours at home. Yanyways all bitching later, I decided to turn down offers from friends to be out watching movie with them. I declined their offer and ended up in a un-ending circle of boredom which taught me the following lessons. I will share all those “gigabytes of gyaan” with you and if it helps even one of you, I will be more than honoured. So here go the lessons that this weekend taught me…

  • Refrain from trying to find entertainment in music channels. 4 out of 5 music channels will have Himmesh Reshammiya sucking the life out of the microphone he is strategically holding for the very same purpose as stated above. The latest song has him “experimenting” with a stationary microphone instead of the regular hand held ones. Dwaak-thuuuuu…

  • Please keep spare video games to play with. Because in times of boredom (read it as when the family is watching Sun TV and Asianet with all their heart and soul), you definitely will need them. Sometimes these tam and mallu movies & serials, I tell you can give you rapid attacks of epitolpheolosis (I made that up) and eventually lead to some tear jerking, pelvic thrusting, lungi / saree flying, bust throbbing unwanted consequences.

  • Have some interesting books to read. It at least solves two purposes for me. One as an option for a spare read and second as something that would put me down to sleep. Trust me it works wonderfully with me. Nothing can put me down to slumber like a few minutes of serious reading. I guess that’s why I never got good grades. (Realisation I say)

  • The point of sleep brings me to the next point. Please do not keep your “much wanted sleep” for the weekend. Sorry friends, it doesn’t work that way. The body of every average person is accustomed to sleep during work hours. Blame the body clock for that. You cant find sleep during weekends and you WILL sleep post lunch hours (Mon – Fri) consistently. So the ones who keep fooling themselves to catch up on sleep on weekends, please wakeup.

  • Talking about reading brings me to the next point. The worst thing to read on weekends would be the "special weekend edition" of newspapers. Trust me they are the worst things to read, unless you want to know how many times does this new kid on the block shaves his chest hair or how many times does this ah-so-suave model gets herself waxed (and waned) in a week and what kind of aromatic candles should you use when you have your dog mating with the neighours (dog of course)... You get the idea right... They are Fully Faltoo...

  • Weekends are the worst time to watch movies on TV, especially the ones that go with the tag of “<Something> Super Premiere”. Please do not watch it. The super premiere is surely of some product that totally disinterests you and you will have to watch the movies intermittently in between the super premiere of the product. Don’t even catch a movie in a close by multiplex, unless of course you are ready to pay that kind of money to only watch some cute chicks in that multiplex (with the assumption that there is no strong cowboy like boyfriend for company).

  • Keep yourself busy during weekends. Even if it calls for taking drastic steps like washing clothes, utensils, high rope walking, long jumping, skipping, playing lagori or anything for that matter. Please do not keep yourself idle. Because in today’s world a devils workshop for all practical reasons is also termed as a “television” and trust me you can then loop back to points 1 & 2.

  • When you say “No” to your friends / family for anything that involves a group <something>, please be ready to face all of the above stated or the ones to follow consequences. You have to be mentally prepared to go through the torture that being at home has to offer. (by the above I don’t mean that my family is a torture, pliss do not re-misconstrue the already misconstrued)

8 is where I stop. No No No No… not because I have run out of ideas for points 9 through 10, but because my non-existent subconscious numerologist told me that the number 8 is lucky for my posts and since 8 is synonymous with weight, it gives a lot of, the much needed weight to my posts...

If you follow these steps of what to do and what not to do on weekends, your weekends may be much better. But if you don’t and continue to spend your weekends endlessly watching Television and futilely trying to put yourself to sleep, I am sure you will get used to the endless boredom and if you do, please let me know how do you feel like it and let me know how you cope with it. I may like to test that as well.

adios…

PS: Sorry all mah braadars for giving you taang this weekend. I will make sure that it does not repeat. And if it does… I surely won’t write a post about it ;)

3 comments:

abhi said...

Syriana was a true treat ......

the best movie i've seen in a long time

Demi Goddezz said...

its ok yaar... hota hein...arre pehle boltha tho mein phone karke tera bheja khathi na?

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hummmm.Ya the movies are drab...Ought to get out and do numerous activities...The more number of activities you do , the more fullfilled you feel.