Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Sleeping Kutty & The War-Iyer

Once upon a time there was a queen who had a beautiful baby daughter (Lola Kutty). She asked all the maamis in the kingdom to the “choru-unnu” (kind of christening), but unfortunately forgot to invite one of them, who was a bit of a witch as well. She came anyway, but as she passed the baby's cradle, she said:

"When you are sixteen, you will eat Avial and die!"

"Oh, no!" screamed the Queen in horror. A good maami quickly chanted a magic spell to change the curse. When she ate Avial, the girl would fall into a very deep sleep instead of dying.

The years went by; the little Lola grew and became the most beautiful girl in the whole kingdom. Her mother was always very careful to keep her away from Avial, but the Princess, on her sixteenth birthday, as she wandered through the castle, came into a servant’s quarters where an old servant was savoring Avial.

The servant gave some Avial to Lola Kutty ... and she ate it and. with a sigh, dropped to the floor.

The terrified old woman hurried to tell the Queen. Beside herself with anguish, the Queen did her best to awaken her daughter but in vain. Kotakkal Arya Vaidya Shaala was summoned, but there was nothing they could do. Lola Kutty could not be wakened from her deep sleep. The good maami who managed to avoid the worst of the curse came too, and the Queen said to her,

"When will my daughter waken?"

"I don't know," the maami admitted sadly.

"In a year's time, ten years or twenty?" the Queen went on.

"Maybe in a hundred years' time. Who knows?" said the maami.

"Oh! What would make her waken?" asked the Queen weeping.

"Love," replied the maami. "If a warrior of pure heart was to fall in love with her that would bring her back to life!"

"How can a warrior fall in love with a sleeping girl?" sobbed the Queen, and so heart-broken was she that, a few days later, she died. The sleeping Lola Kutty was taken to her room and laid on the bed surrounded by garlands of flowers. She was so beautiful, with a sweet face, not like those of the dead, but pink like those who are sleeping peacefully. The good maami said to herself, "When she (Lola) wakens, who is she going to see around her? Strange faces and people she doesn't know? I can never let that happen. It would be too painful for this unfortunate girl."

So the maami cast a spell; and everyone that lived in the castle – elephants, namboodiris, vaadyaars, cooks, naariyalpaaniwaalas, dogs, cats, squirrels, mongoose etc - all fell into a deep sleep, wherever they were at that very moment.

"Now," thought the maami, "when Lola Kutty wakes up, they too will awaken, and life will go on from there." And she left the castle, now wrapped in silence. Not a sound was to be heard, nothing moved except for the clocks, but when they too ran down, they stopped, and time stopped with them. Not even the faintest rustle was to be heard, only the wind whistling round the turrets, not a single voice, only the cry of bats and owls.

The years sped past. In the castle grounds, the coconut trees grew tall. The bushes became thick and straggling, the grass invaded the courtyards and the creepers spread up the walls. In a hundred years, a dense forest grew up. And it came to be known as “Periyar Tiger Reserve” for some unknown reason.

Now, it so happened that a War-Iyer arrived in these parts. He was the son of a vaadyaar in a state close by. Young, handsome and melancholy, he sought in solitude everything he could not find in the company of other men: serenity, sincerity and purity. Wandering on his trusty steed he arrived, one day, at the dark forest. Being adventurous, he decided to explore it. He made his way through slowly and with a struggle, for the trees and bushes grew in a thick tangle. A few hours later, now losing heart, he was about to turn his horse and go back when he thought he could see something through the trees . . . He pushed back the branches . . . Wonder of wonders! There in front of him stood a castle with high towers. The young man stood stock still in amazement,

"I wonder who this castle belongs to?" he thought.

The young War-Iyer rode on towards the castle. The drawbridge was down and, holding his horse by the reins, he crossed over it. Immediately he saw the inhabitants draped all over the steps, the halls and courtyards, and said to himself,"Good heavens! They're dead!"

But in a moment, he realised that they were sound asleep. "Wake up! Wake up!" he shouted, but nobody moved. Still thoroughly astonished, he went into the castle and again discovered more people, lying fast asleep on the floor. As though led by a hand in the complete silence, the War-Iyer finally reached the room where the beautiful Lola Kutty lay fast asleep. For a long time he stood gazing at her face, so full of serenity, so peaceful, lovely and pure, and he felt spring to his heart that love he had always been searching for and never found. Overcome by emotion (and the fact that he was still a virgin), he went close, lifted Lola Kutty’s little white hand and gently kissed it . . .

At that kiss, the Lola quickly opened her eyes, and wakening from her long long sleep, seeing the War-Iyer beside her, murmured:

"Oh, you have come at last! I was waiting for you in my dream. I've waited so long!"

Just then, the spell was broken. Lola Kutty rose to her feet, holding out her hand to the War-Iyer. And the whole castle woke up too. Everybody rose to their feet and they all stared round in amazement, wondering what had happened. When they finally realised, they rushed to Lola Kutty, more beautiful and happier then ever.

A few days later, the castle that only a short time before had lain in silence, now rang with the sound of naadaswarams, panchavaadyams and happy laughter at the great party given in honour of the War-Iyer and Lola Kutty, who were getting married. They slept happily ever after (pun completely intended), as they always do in fairy tales, not quite so often, however, in real life.


PS: Post Marriage, the princess is now called Lola War-Iyer. She then gave birth to a son, who showed interest in Wrestling and joined WWF and is more popularly known as “Ultimate War-Iyer” to the rest of the world.

PS2: I have copied the story of the sleeping beauty and made (un)necessary changes. Please do the following find and replace (of important characters) to get back to the original story

Lola Kutty To Be Replaced With Sleeping Beauty
Maami To Be Replaced With Fairy
Eating Avial To Be Replaced With Pricking Spindle
War-Iyer To Be Replaced With Handsome Prince



Demi Goddezz said...


iyer education said...

winny: read this bedtime story only if you want to spend sleepless nights... and dont you watch channel [v]... lola kutty is a host there :)

IdeaSmith said...

Heeheehee....Iyer writes a bestseller again!

Isn't Warriar a Mallu surname by the way? I knew someone like that.

And I like the way you've 'tamed it' for conservative South-Indian audiences.


This is very funny.....U will be great at recreating all fairy tales to fir into the modern day society..You kid's will have a nice time...Be ready to keep creating (stories I mean) :)

iyer education said...

idea: it is warrier, but then i thought, let me give myself some publicity, and used War-Iyer instead :)

scribblez: my kids will have sleepless nights after listening to these stories... and I like the line of "Be ready to keep creating"... its pun intentionally intended, isnt it?

infected said...

The part where i craked up was "trusty steed". I kept imagining you riding around the country-side on the matheran pony (read dog) you came riding on. :)

namboodiris, vaadyaars : Wadaar those?

KJ said...


u r the BEST in REMIXING the old stories....
wat else do u have up ir sleeves? wat next?



Lord of all Things said...

snigger snigger!! nice man .. ill tell this story to my kids someday:D

Sunita said...

You are to fairy tales, exactly what anu malik is to music :).

Enjoyed it


U r right about the "Pun intentionally intended"...:)

iyer education said...

alap: i too remember the doggie-cum-horse incident... fulltoo dhammal tha... namboodiris are mallu pandits and vaadyaars are madrasi pandits :)

kj: wait and watch.... currently the only thing that i have up my sleeve is my baniyan ;)

lord: statuatory warning: your kids will be insomniac...

sunita: nobody ever told me such a thing... compared to the "GREAT" anu malik in itself is a great thing... thengew :)

scribblez: :)

memphis said...

Stop posting stories that ur gf tells u to keep ur mouth shut

iyer education said...


eraser hai? agar hai to tera comment erase kar :P

pen hai? agar hai to kuch samajh mein aaye waisa comment likh :P

memphis said...

ok will do that

APOO said...

Reminds me of Bird. When he just went off to sleep whilst our conversations in CT.

Can you do a remake of Pinnochio, of course, with few variations of what used to grow when he lied!

Debalina said...

Eh !
Geez, you in love with Lola Kutty ??
All these for getting famous and trying to become VJ in Channel [V]! Too bad.

Demi Goddezz said...

happy valentines!

Sensorcaine said...

ohmigawd!!! i just hope my dad doesn't stumble across this post- he will use it as a template for all bedtime stories for his grandchildren! Brilliant! one small addition,if you'll permit me- can the maami be re-christened 'baby mami'?