Thursday, January 19, 2006

extension surnames!!!

Last night I was having tullee sessions with abhi, apoo and bird. The discussions out there during the tullee sessions were anything but sensible. We spoke about everything under the sun that never makes any sort of sense and we had a great time. Although bird nowadays has this habit of going into some form of “sleep” every now and then, which makes him look like he is either meditating or performing some form of weird voodoo, yet we managed to have a good time. This post just happens to be an offshoot of one of those weird discussions. So throw everything sensible that you packed along, you can use them later when you are through with the post.

Apoo spoke about a friend of his, who had a weird surname. A surname that almost resembles a filename extension (eg: .doc for word documents, .xls for excel worksheets, .ppt for powerpoint slides et al). It so happened that one of his friends has this surname called “FNU”. Once we heard it, we thought what on gods name was that? It just sounds like this friend has been just out of the chemistry laboratory which has been scheming and coming up with some weird-ass chemical to destroy this world. But then, to our surprise, this surname too has a logic behind it. What is the logic you may ask? The logic is that, some jack-ass from the consulate dept had written “First Name Unknown” in this particular person’s application form, which was abbreviated into FNU and it got stuck to the person and it became the surname of that particular person. Doesn’t it sound like some file extension? Before you could even think, YES IT DOES :). By joe, this person wuddav been the mostest unluckiest person to have undergone such a thing. This world is really a bad place… isn’t it? But then as usual, Iyer again comes to the rescue. What does he do this time? This time around, he is being instigated by his friends (apoo & abhi & bird) to come up with file extension surnames for people in and around us.

In any case, Iyer was running out of ideas. So Iyer said to himself let us take this up and pakao people around in the blogosphere. So here goes nothing. Let me tell you again, in case you haven’t understood what this thing is all about. We will have first names of people and their last names will be file extensions. So this is a tribute to FNU. And let me tell that person, “don’t you worry… company for you is on way… and when you find apoo back, you will find him renewed and excited and not to mention, with a file extension ;-)”.

Apoo.PPT: PPT stands for “Plan, Propose & Terminate”, which I guess has been his (by choice or otherwise) mantra on his blog. He plans to patao gals on his blog, proposes them, some of them even accept those proposals, but then whatever little I have seen on his blog, the marriage / proposal is generally terminated. But that is not the end. It is a continuous and vicious cycle and it goes on and on and on and on and on…

Abhi.DOC: Let me just say DOC stands for “Define Or Conclude”. If you are with abhi, you have to know definitions. Or let me say you need to have the knack of making definitions on the fly. If you cannot define, lets say you are concluded, which essentially means you are dead. So the next time you see abhi, take out all your encyclopedias and keep the definitions ready :)

Bird.PDF: PDF stands for “Pakshi Doesn’t Flutter”, which symbolizes and epitomizes his laziness. He has wings, but he is so lazy that he wouldn’t flutter. He would die, but he wouldn’t flutter. He wouldn’t even attempt to… nah nah… you can die trying, but he really wouldn’t… anyone to take up an uphill task on trying to make bird more active? Hai koi mai-ka-lall?

Alap.CSS: CSS stands for “Confuse, Swear, (bitch)Slap”, which are three activities he just lurves to carry out. Confuse people (mostly its just me because others seem to understand what he says and I am pathetic at English language) with his super-classy-dignified English. If they don’t get confused then he proceeds to swear at them with things we would have never imagined. And when that doesn’t work either, he begins to (bitch)slap people around (this time again, most of the times its me). Can someone save me?

Winny.PPS: Where PPS stands for “Poetries, Profile(pics) & (shero)Shayaris”. What do I have to add here? Do I have to say anything about this lady. She is the queen of writing poetries. She is queener when it comes to changing profile pics (though she has slowed down a bit on this front these days) , but she is the queenest when it comes to writing urdu shayaris. Something I would never ever comprehend in my life. But she is darn good at it… atta gurl :)

Ideasmith.HTM: HTM here stands for “How To Manage”. Now you would ask me what? Don’t ask me, ask her… okay let me join you in asking her about how to manage 5 blogs all at the same time. I just have one blog and it becomes unmanageable and this lady manages 5 blogs. Kudos… just one more question to you idea… its 6 right?

*update... thanks to winny for reminding me about paro and pals...*

Paro.MPG: MPG here stands for "Maha Pakaoo Gujju", which is what paro is and he gladly accepts that. You should read some of his email replies. Trust me, contemplating suicide would be a much easier option than reading them. But all in all, he is one dhammal chap, and he's got amazing "cash"(pronounce gujju style, and you may sound somewhat like "kesh" which means hair)

Iyer.GIF: I have kept the best file extension for myself. I would also like to end this post on this surname. So GIF here stands for what you are currently thinking in your mind right now… I am that damn good… I know what you are thinking right now… and you don’t have to even say it to me… let me just take it right out of your mind… GIF is “Go Iyer… FO”. And I will just do that… adios…

PS: Oh by the way, you can give me your own additions to this list. It would make it all the more interesting :)

12 comments:

Demi Goddezz said...

Hmmm..wot shud i say ...very very humbled.. u actually worte good things abt me hehheheh..:but anyways the post is fundooo.. as usual..yaar where is Paro here? and u left Pals out too??

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Way too funny Iyero..Just leave u with tht n now I kno tht GIF application is compatible to/with/by/for UUUU....:) Smart 1's.

iyer education said...

winny: my pleasure... and no one can challenge (and i cant understand) your urdu shayaris... paro is up on the post and pals... you can leave him in the wilderness

scribblez: thanks yaar... for a good part of my life i thought Iyer was my first name and FO was my last name due to the sheer frequency of usage of "Iyer FO" by a lot of my friends :D

IdeaSmith said...

LOL...Techno-greek that I am, I can't figure out whether you complimented me or not. Loved the post anyway.

As for how to manage, think all the time and when you reach some sensible solution, delete it and start all over again. That's how the world (as far as I can see) works.

iyer education said...

idea: it was more of 'awed by your ability to multi-task blogs' than a compliment :)

There's something about Sherry... said...

hmm, that makes me wonder, wat do u think shud be my extn surname...

u better come up with a good one.

sherry

Gemini Girl said...

=)) kuch bhi ha

iyer education said...

sherry: since i dont know u that much, let me make a safe guess so that i dont incur your wrath... RSS (Read Sherry's Secrets)... i hope thats good enough :)

gemini girl: hmmmm... i still dont know if that was a good or a bad comment... neways :)

memphis said...

1s again u proved that u rock

iyer education said...

paro: i lahu u :)

memphis said...

Gay Iyer ... FO

Planck said...

lolz! nice nice!
the last one was the best!!!