Wednesday, December 28, 2005

happy new iyer - the prelude

So what does this new iyer has in store for this Iyer. Hmmm, all sorts of weird resolutions is what I think. First things first; I am not here for new iyer. I would be on my way to sabarimala. So I am on a pilgrimage and I would try and purify all my sins out there. Actually, I will have to adopt atleast 7 religions to clean up my sins, but that’s another post. So as soon as I come back from sabarimala, I will be doing something for the iyer community in the coming iyer. It is pending for a very long time. I haven’t done anything for my community. Hey I just realized, I haven’t done anything for anyone. But then, I guess its ok. I WILL do something for my community. Let me try and explain things / initiatives that I will do / take for my community.

Disclaimer: I am joking. So all you iyer papas and iyer mamas and iyer brothers of my prospective bride, please don’t look down upon me and consider me a reject because of this post. I still love you guys and more so your daughter and would like to take this relationship forward.

· Firstly, everything on Iyerospace will go the iPOD way (and it begins now). Branding as they call it. Every accessory related to iPOD sounds like ‘i{something}’; for eg. iRiver, iHear, iSwear, iYer (okay all of them are made up… but I guess you got the idea…). I will try and use as many iyer’s as possible in all my posts in trying to make up a complete brand for myself and if possible for the rest of the Iyer community, though they would prefer to disown me. But I am like ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull’, the gull who is outcasted and after attaining new heights, comes back and spreads the knowledge to the same community that outcasted him. Do you see any resemblances between me and Jonathan? (Oh please don’t draw any similarities between the seagull and Bird. Bird has got something else to attend to… birdie, don’t think too much… your favorite character “Madness” is married and “Viji” has given you taang… so I guess it will be another couple of days [or years or decades or centuries] before you find your soul-mate)

· I will consolidate all the Iyers existing in India (and some abroad) and form a union and call it “Indian Iyer Force”. This will consolidate the Iyer strength in the world. As the old Babylonian adage goes “United we go Iyer, divided we go lower”, this force will scale new heights and capture new widths and take the Iyers to an even Iyer level. And trust me; the Scottish will be amazed at the number of skirts that would be on display (on the people of course) when we take out a morcha, peaceful that is ;)

· I am sick and tired of listening to all radio stations here in India. None of songs that we Iyer(hear) on these stations are good for the Iyers Iyers(ears). They constantly play hindi songs (not that I don’t like them) but continuously listening to kumar sanu would not be good for any community. So I am going to have one new radio station and call it “All Iyer Radio” and have the songs of MS Subbalakshmi, SP Balasubramaniam, Sudha Raghunathan, U Srinivasan, Yesudas play all day long… and that too without any RJ’s or advertisements. The songs on this station would be like nectar to our Iyers (ears).

· All naughty and horny Iyers (both men and women) will be separated from the rest of the lot (for the betterment of others re baba) and will be kept in solitary confinement (solitary from the rest of the world, but they will be together as a bunch. Or else how do we get more naughty and horny iyers… and the test tube method is a very bad idea) and we legalize this confinement and call it “Hindustan Iyeronaughties Ltd”. Once this will be formed, I will be writing all my posts from there. And all of you are welcome to visit me, but don’t cross the visitor room lines. It could get dangerous :O

After the good things, obviously, the bad things. Don’t think this is Iyer’s last post for this year. Eh eh, it isn’t going to go that way. I think I will have enough ideas or atleast muster up enough courage to write just one post before leaving for sabarimala. With that confidence, I will wish you guys a happy and a prosperous new year in that post. Consider this to be just the prelude of things to come and if you care for your health, don’t visit here again ;)

Till then… adios…

PS: If you still haven’t got it, I have tried to use “Iyer” as a multi-faceted word just like the multi-faceted character that I am ;)


Bird said...

My shrink is to blame for Viji not talking to me anymore. I miss her "Kill Him" chants while speaking with my boss.

Madness I'll not speak of, since his wifey's threatened to beat me up if i make fun of Madness hencefort, so no more making fun of madness.

I know what inmates of Hindustan Iyeronaughties will do....they'll get drunk on brandy & hot water & imitate Sanjeev Kumar.

There's something about Sherry... said...


u had me rotfllmao.

iyer education said...

bird: now u seriously sound like your two finger, 4 word and 2500 line surd friend of yours... ab pakana band karega... :P

sherry: you have got the gist of the post... Iyerious it is ;)

memphis said...

aiiiyar, what cooking it is u? (arre yaar kya paka raha hai tu?)

iyer education said...

paro: i am cooking puliyodarai to be taken with vattal kozhambu... u interested?

Anonymous said...

goodj post

memphis said...

if u talkin bout interested in cooking .. the answer is no .. if u talkin bout interested in eatin .. answer still remains the same

IdeaSmith said...

Iyer: I definitely am!!!!! Except vattral kozhambu can be used to make pulliodarai, not the other way round. Or was that just an Iyer-onical comment?

Loved the post as always, by the way! And good to see you're still brimming with ideas. (iyer-eas?)


The more of Iyer you read,
Iyer (Higher) is your laughter!
Thi spost sure is so so funny...
All the best for your Shabarimala Trip and hope God blesses you with many more "Jhatang" ideas in the comming New Iyer. :)

Demi Goddezz said...

Bird:what what ?? Viji is not talking to u anymore ,,,tauba tauba yeh kya ho gaya??

Paro:Pliss u no make curd of brain...(dimaag ka dahi math bana ..grrr)

Iyer ..plz pray and do some pushpanjali for bird and viji..ill get u their nakshatrams ..dont worry

Iyer is the way to go
Iyers will all follow
Iyered will (all) be the motto
Iyerest will be the light of tomorrow

wah wah!

iyer education said...

first of all, great job u guys for finding newer connotations and usages of the word Iyer...

idea: whatever is used to make whatever... i just love both... yumm... lets eat it and leave the empty vessels for paro ;)

scribblez: i will definitely pray for more jhatang, batang (the font) & patang 9the kite) ideas :)

winny: kudos to you to put things straightforward to paro... we cudnt do it for ages... ekdam dhammal... and do get me their (bird and viji's) nakshatrams for pushpanjali... as for the poem... raacking :)

iyer education said...

abhi: tu nahi hota to mera kya hota... bhai hai tu mera

Demi Goddezz said...

Iyero:Idea sahi bolthi hein...puliyodarai can be made out of vattral Kozhambu
but vice versa not possible :(
I miss india ..sob sob..

as for Paro;hehhe thank u thank u.. like Apoo said im practising my Winny Jokes ..and who other than Paro will I experiment on?

Bird:Kili Nakshatram;Parava Raashi
Viji:Kuli Nakshatram;Kulam Raashi


iyer education said...

thengew winny, now i can arrange for some vadivezhipaadu for bird... just that the birds around that place will fly away after listening to it... so i will ensure that bird doesnt listen to it...

memphis said...

winny: u r a firang .. u r suppose to say yogurt and not curd ... pls correct ur sentence and repost

IdeaSmith said...

Demi: I didn't realise you're from the south.

Paro: Curd IS NOT yoghurt...not the way we eat it anyway. There's a reason we say "Yeh dil maange mor"

iyer education said...

idea: winny is one pucca southie... speaks better tamil and malayalam than most ppl i know frm india... and there is no point explaning the "khatta" mor thingy to paro... i lahuu khatta mor

winny: now that i said good things abt you, your turn to say good things abt me instead of praising the waste bird ;)

memphis said...

idea: u lost me there. whats the thing bout yeh dil mange mor?

Demi Goddezz said...

Iyer:Pleasr Vedivazhipadu means noise pollution na an its against out campaigns..

Paro:"mor" means curd or buttermilk in mallu and tamil..grrr learn something,...

Iyer:ab aur tere baare mein acha likhungi to im sure jo saare OTS abs was supposes to give u ;ill get and bird will poison his tea and commit suicide in front of happy,,
ab itna saara dukh will make me write more poems which inturn is gonna make ur life hell...ab tu bata mein kya karun;)