Friday, December 23, 2005

Dubi Dubi Dub Dub…

The title of this post happens to be a song sung by Aditya Narayan, son of the great singer Udit Narayan for a movie called Masoom (happens to be the debut of music director Anand Raaj Anand and he’s done a good job with it) released a couple of years ago, but this post has nothing to do with the song or the movie or the music director or anything else related to it. (Just the right kind of pakaoo beginning I expected)… Now lets get back to the topic… shall we?

India is a volume driven market. Almost everybody knows it. It is one of the most lucrative markets existing in the world. Companies are longing to sell their products / services in India. So what happened after the Liberalization-Privatization-Globalization, most commonly referred to as the “Opening up of the Indian Economy” is history. Companies, MNC’s, and every other term used in the corporate lingo decided to give a shot at the Indian market. I mean who wouldn’t like to have exposure to a 100 Crore (ideally speaking) customers.

Everyone came here and adapted to the market here. Some of them called it “Localisation” whilst the others decided to have a global aim with a local flavor and called it “Glocalisation”. Ah!, these terms and terminologies and all varieties of jargons. Every company had an Indian flavor to it. Some of them did well and some just plainly bombed. One of the things that bombed, and that too like, the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki is the fillum industry. Read ahead to know…

So what do we typically get served, when we plan out to go for a movie. Hmmm… the menu card goes like this

  • Hollywood Film (English)
  • Bollywood Film (Hindi)
  • T/Kollywood Film (Tamil / Telugu / Kannada Film)
  • Any other language Film (with or without subtitles)

And finally, this-not-so-new-but-not-so-old-either concept of “Dubbed Films”. I believe these are the most pathetic of the lot. Trust me they are. Films are dubbed in Hindi / Tamil / Telugu (mainly) only to get a large audience. To make money. Okay agreed that you want to make money and all that. But look at what you guys are doing to the movie and in-effect to the brains of the people watching it. Here we mainly talk about dubbed Hindi films. The other languages are still alien to me. So what is it that makes me believe that Hindi dubbed films are the pathetic of the lot? Here we go!!!

Firstly, if you keenly notice (you don’t have to watch the entire movie to get this… just the trailer is enough), the kind of Hindi that they use for dubbing and the kind of Hindi that you normally find in Bollywood movies have zameen-aasmaan-ka-farak. This dubbed Hindi dialogues sound like they come straight from the mouth of Ashutosh-Rana-meet-Rajpal-Yadav-meet-Shail-Chaturvedi. People who have heard about any of them know that their Hindi is the “Shuddh & Spastha” types Hindi which is literally extinct. And to expect a viewer to understand it would be equal to asking Mallika Sherawat to talk about Bangladesh cricket history. Let me substantiate it with a personal example of mine. It was this toon-show called Swat Kats in Hindi and the hindi dialogue goes “Gurutvaakarshan Shakti ke kaaran ham gir rahe hai”… It took me 1 full day to realize that T-Bone(the character) was talking about “gravitational force”. Pardon us poor souls.

Secondly, the dialogues are changed to suit the local audience and the local settings (yes that is in C:\Documents & Settings\Administrator… but wait… that’s a hidden folder… okay just pakaoing with some techno yuck…). This doesn’t 1. gel with the situation on the original movie and 2. Sounds pathetically silly. Let me try and give you an example, the Hindi version of Speed-I had Keanu Reaves saying “Hey Bhagwaan” in the lift whereas the actual movie has him saying “Oh F#$%”. Now that is great translation. Coming back to the cartoon example I have, and believe me, I HAVE actually seen Popeye singing “Pardesi Pardesi Jaana Nahi” (from Raja Hindustani) to Olive Oil on an excursion… and I said to myself… Oh @#$%$@#@$@#@# @#$ @#@#@$#@# @#@$@$@$ … (censored hai…)

Thirdly, the dubbed versions of these movies have incredibly incredible yet hilariously funny names. The names include the name of the movie itself and at the same time the name of the leading protagonist / character of the movie. And the best part is that the title kills the essence of the movie. Imagine this, in the cartoon series “The Mask”, in the Hindi version, the original lead Stanley Ipkiss is called “Sachin Sabnis”, Metallikats from Swat-Kats are called “Dhaatui Bille”. I just cannot resist laughing at some of these names. Cliffhanger in Hindi was called “Shikharputra”, Mask in hindi was called “Zero se Hero”, HP and the Goblet of Fire was called “HP Aur Aag Ka Pyaala”. After seeing (actually going through) all this, I am just thankful that there were no Hindi dubbings of “Shawshank Redemption” and “Apocalypse Now”. I just wonder what their desi counterparts would have been…

Okay point made or not made, you have to decide for yourself. But let me make my stand clear. I am not one of those guys who shudder at the thought of using Hindi and neither am I pro-angrezi. I love Hindi, I love it much better than probably English and find it most comfortable to speak to and understand and communicate. But Hindi, which is original is fully acceptable. Hindi that is only a sound over some firang (or any other desi) guy trying to lip-sync is pathetic… it seriously kills the essence of the entire thing. So please stop making dubbed movies / cartoons and not to mention those stupidly created hindi makeovers of Tele-Shopping Videos. The last ones are the most pathetic to watch. If you want to make money try some other form / source. There are enough avenues to mint a lot of money. Please do not kill the essence of something in trying to make money…

This is all that I had to say in those long and unwanted and non-meaningful paras(this is not you). If you don’t believe what I am telling, watch cartoon network for one full day (actually even half an hour would do) and you will understand and go through the same torturous dubbed version of things and come back to me saying “I do Agree”. Till then… adios…

10 comments:

memphis said...

so when do we visit ur place for 1 day or half an hour to see cartoon network in hindi?

abhi said...

i likea the term Glocalization

btw me updated ma blog .. nu post @ trackback

kiran said...

interesting indeed! arun bhau i hate Dubbed Films! becuase they dont convey the correct meaning and lack the expression of the 4 letter word. looks like ur blog is a meeting place for all our phodyasoft team! i will be back! :)

Demi Goddezz said...

ok now what are u trying to say... u dont need my malayalam classes anymore huh?heheh

IdeaSmith said...

Lol...ever notice all these dubbings are done by people with reeeeeally bad voices? Everyone sounds high-pitched and squeaky.

Demi Goddezz said...

Merry Xmas!!:))

iyer education said...

paro: yanytime yanyday... just make sure i am not available...

abhi: now tht you liked it, try and define it for me :)

kiran: darrrrling bhauuuuu.... kaisa hai... how come achanak stumbling on all blogs... eagerly waiting for you to come down to mumbai and meet you then... aur billoo kaisa hai?

winny: i need mallu classes... saala zindagi ka sawaal hai.. koi movie nahi hai

idea: and they are the same voices too... the same guy does the dubbing for all the heroes... does it have something to do with universal appeal

winny: merry xmas to you too... hope u had a blast

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hahah, the dubbs are just "dubba". Now dubba means worthless. If you have noticed almost all the remakes too are not as successful as they were taken in the original language. And teleshopping is so silly. Do they think we are a bunch of dummies who pay or rent a DVD or video to see the lip work!! Good idea Iyero

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

Ha!

That reminded me of Football shootball Haaye Rabba ... the hindi version of Bend it like Beckham!!

gurutvaakarshan shakti ... cartoons?? god!!!!

lmao @ pardesi - 2 jaana nahi ... yeah i've seen them as well ... hilarious ... damn hilarious ... they called Popeye palak khau once ....... hahahahaaaa

Was really a GOOD post eh!!!

Wishing u a happy n a prosperous New Year btw!!!

Rock on!

iyer education said...

scribblez: so tht is the explanation to the unending dearth of dabbawallahs here in mumbai... you sure are a code decrypter :)

cheesy: good observations... palak khau... i guess the reason why they didnt have garfield dubbed is because they didnt find the hindi word for lasagne ;)... wish you a happy new year too