Saturday, September 17, 2005

Mythology - Technically Speaking...

I am a living oxymoron (it doesn’t mean that I am an ox and a moron). I like things which are in contrast. I always have been that way. I love living in confusion. I have always been confused, though I never seem to be confused, but believe me I am.

One of the most oxymoronic things in my life is my likes. I profoundly like mythology and technology. I know they have nothing in common; frankly speaking they are poles apart. I have seen people who like mythology but not technology… I have seen geeks who think mythology is crap… but I have been one of the confused types who like both… and I have no qualms about it. But let me tell you that I don’t know technology like some fellow bloggers abhi, alap or apoo. They are way too ahead in those terms… neither do I know too much about mythology… but then I like living in my own life of ignorance… you know they say “ignorance is bliss”…

This time around, I thought let me get mythology and technology together… try and experiment with them… try and introspect into mythological characters who live their lives with the technology available today.

Warning & Disclaimer: Prior knowledge of Ramayana or Mahabharata is required before reading this text. You cannot sue the author unless you know Ramayana or Mahabharata (like you can sue the author if you do know them… ha)

Begin Cases

Case 1: Seeta wouldn’t have been carried by Ravana if they had mobile phones. How? Let me try and explain…

Seeta: Aaryaputra, I need that golden deer, it is so beautiful…
Rama: If at all you want to capture that deer, capture it using the 2 megapixel camera-cum-mobile-phone that we got from Ayodhya, and transfer it to the computer and set it as wallpaper & screensaver…

Problem solved here… but lets assume, for some reason, Rama has to actually go and get that deer for seeta… then what happens… I even have a solution to that… read ahead…

(the deer dies and cries “Oh Lakshmanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”… rama picks up his phone, dials the number of lakshmana and then…)

Rama: Don’t worry… it’s a false alarm… its not a golden deer… it’s a demon named maricha…
Lakshmana: Okay, I will convey the message to bhabhi… "Lakshman Rekha" plan cancelled…

(alternatively rama could have sent an SMS regarding the same and saved some money too)

I know there would be pessimists here, who would be insisting on a “Network Busy”, or “This Number Is Not Reachable” message when the phone call was being made, but then I always look at the brighter side :)

Case 2: The wide array of electronic items and accessories would have prevented “Draupadi Vastraharan”… Read ahead…

(In the gambling den of Hastinapura)

Shakuni: Yudhishitira, what do you have to bet right now?
Yudhishtira: My Acer Laptop…
Shakuni: There you lose it… what next…
Yudhishtira: Bheema’s Compaq Laptop…

(after about 4 hours)

Shakuni: What next?
Yudhishtira: Arjun’s iPOD Player…
Shakuni: There you lose it… what next?

(after another 6 hours)

Shakuni: What next ?
Yudhishtira: Sahadev’s tablet pc…

I cannot go on like this forever… if I cant, do you think shakuni could have… and if he wouldn’t have gone too long… don’t you think the game would be over… and if the game would be over, how would Draupadi be ever “Vastraharanofied”? … think about it… makes a lotta sense…

Case 3: Email and Excel would have caused peace between Pandavas and Kauravas… read read (I promise this is the last case)

Pandavas sent Krishna as the “messenger of peace” to Hastinapura. There he was mocked by Duryodhana and the other Kauravas and Krishna displayed the “Divya Swaroop” to them… and only Bhishma could see it… not anyone else…

But then had there been email facility, Krishna wouldn’t have been there… a long email to duryodhana@hastinapura.com (cant send to Dhritarashtra, he is blind) with a cc to bhishma@hastinapura.com would have been enough to intimate the ideas of the Pandavas at Hastinapura.

Again if Duryodhana or Dhritarashtra (sorry Dhritarashtra was blind… so lets rule him out) had Excel (and a laptop to go along with it), he could have calculated the impact of the demands made by the Pandavas (using functions like IRR, NPV etc) then and there and like any shrewd businessman come to a decision to give away what Pandavas wanted rather than running after puny 5 villages… right? why do i have to ask you... its for sure things would have settled then and there, and there would have been no war...

End Of Cases

adios…

16 comments:

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hahaha...Amazing..Sure made me laught hard and sure others around me thought i went insane, more than my usual quota!...I liked the Sita one....And for costs. may be they had hutch and had hutch to hutch free or something...Or anyother allied network service provider which gave a family plan!!

iyer education said...

scribblez: long time no C (or Java)

i dont know about their network providers, but whatever i have read outta ramayana, they sure had a family plan :)

KJ said...

LOL

Amazing.....:-))

too good....

ROTFL

APOO said...

Well, it could also lead to other things. Ravana could have hacked into Rams cell phone (like how some teenage guy hacked into Paris Hiltons) and sent Lakshman a weird ass message, asking for help. Also, he could have sent a SMS to Seeta from rams phone saying, "Ravana coming to pick u, go with him"

As for Mahabharata, there might have just not been any dice game.
Duryodhan: Mama Shakuni, what do you have today?
Shakuni: MMS clip of Draupadi bathing in the river. Just got it few mins back. Lets blow it up on a projector and watch it.

Or perhaps they would have played a dice game online with online transactions.

iyer education said...

kj: thanks... have you read up piping II, i guess u asked for it on apoo's blog...

apoo: i clearly mentioned that my knowledge of technology isnt upto the same level as yours... but then LOL to whatever you just stated... you are a true example of "Software Testing Industry"... just look at flaws and threats... good going :)

APOO said...

Hmmm... I shall direct any recruiters who approach me to the comments of this post when they ask me to prove my credibility as a tester!

APOO said...

Oh, and news flash. There was supposedly a fire in Abhi's hotel and everyone had to run out half naked (Abhi included).

iyer education said...

apoo: abhi is supposed to be in boston right? is everything alright... you are most welcome to direct anyone to this blog... all kinds of hits are acceptable ;)

abhi said...

alls fineo ..

i didnt do it ...
no one saw me do it

IdeaSmith said...

Lol lol lol....and the Iyer does it again!!!!!!!! You totally shatter my theory that Tam techies have no sense of humour!

iyer education said...

idea: your theory seems to be based on the 'attitude giving', 'well oiled', 'studious type' madrasis... change all of that... and welcome to iyerospace... oh not to forget, i am not a techie... i am more of a watchman... and tam watchmen do have a sense of humour :)

Anonymous said...

very very hmm hilarious ...

but then again given the fact that sita refused to trust lakshman at that point would have made no diff even if rama called lakshman...

Women's mind..

Cheers

winny

Debalina said...

So you mean, root cause of all the mythologies is the absense of technology ?
Good one ...really really good post.

@Winny : Rama would have called up Seeta, Hutch-to-Hutch is just 30paise !

PS : Females are not complicated and complex...males don't have brains to understand them.

Debalina said...

So you mean, root cause of all the mythologies is the absense of technology ?
Good one ...really really good post.

@Winny : Rama would have called up Seeta, Hutch-to-Hutch is just 30paise !

PS : Females are not complicated and complex...males don't have brains to understand them.

winny said...

hey well said .. Men after alll....

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