Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Classifieds

Work Place
We have offices in every state of India. We are headquartered at New Delhi. Our offices offer you the best infrastructure where you get together to decide the fate of the state or country (depending upon postion).. (exact description of a place where you should not work)

Work Environment
All the employees get together to discuss business and end up throwing chairs, tables, fans & microfones at each other and to add to that bad-mouth each other… the employees are authorized to use all forms of gaalis, that’s the kind of freedom that we provide… astounding (perfectly hostile work environment)

Salary & Perquisites
The base salary would be very low as compared to industry averages, but keep an eye of the perquisites. Sponsored car. Free peena & khana and stay at lush row houses. Free travel and stay at rest houses especially built for our employees. Not to add, the exorbitant amount collected by way of bribes. The better you perform the more bribe you get (variable salary components).

Pre-Requirements
Should be Indian by birth (now we have started to accept other nationals too, provided they are either mother-in-laws or daughter-in-laws). Should not be educated above Std. XII (decent education leads to progress… and you know that’s exactly what we don’t need). Should have a clean record but with cases pending for at least rape or extortion or murder or scam or all of these.

Recruitment Policy
Once you are shortlisted for some project (after due consideration of funds etc), the clients (masses) shall decide if you are worthy enough of being in the project. Complete support will be given to you to misguide / cheat / screw the clients once you are “ON” the project. Until then, you have to act as the client says or do what they wish.

We are an equal opportunity provider, and we provide equal opportunity for all to squander the wealth of the nation, dutifully and legally.

any idea what organization is this ?

adios…

12 comments:

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hey this is for the job profile , etc. Its great! The details were crisp and I wish all the god damn companies read it as this is a perfect mirror, shall I say a more subtle mirror as in most cases we have worse things happening on the floor!

IdeaSmith said...

Brilliant. Is this original?

iyer education said...

yes it is :)

the spate of curfews at nariman point, forced me to write this thing about politicians

Bird said...

Iyer, I may join this organisation, since abs & everyone else is of the opinion that I need to become the "Kaarporetor".

Only if Arnie would be in India he culd've been one instead of being a Governor.

soumya said...

this is parliament yar

Debalina said...

With some minor problems with the requirements, can I too apply for the post ??

Can you tell me what is the last date to fill in application form or thumb impression is enough ?

iyer education said...

one more announcement

anyone who leaves a post on this comment will get thru reservation quota... whatever they call it SC/ST/OBC/OT etc etc...

deb and bird are the next contenders... and im sure u wud get thru

Bird said...

Iyer can i apply in CT category?

Samudraa said...

:) is this an original piece?If it is,damn neat.No prizes for guessing wich org......or r they?

iyer education said...

ideasmith & samudra: Rest assured, everything that is here on iyerospace is original (Regardless of whether its good or crappy)... its 100% home made (rather office made)

G3 said...

Hey ... neat ... really nice! I liked the "Recruitment Policy" most of all.

IdeaSmith said...

*APPLAUSE* for the post once again! And thank you for dropping by and wishing me.